IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that life is better in cities, however others claim that village life is far better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #life #cities #village
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Many
people
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 argue that
life
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 is much better in
cities
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 compared to
villages
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,
while
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 others believe that village
life
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 is far better than
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Change preposition
in cities
show examples
cities
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in cities
show examples
. In my standpoint, both are great and it depends on peoples' needs to decide which is the better option between the two.
This
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 essay explores a balanced perspective toward both sides alongside
with
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apply
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their advantages and disadvantages. Without a doubt, bigger
cities
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 offer better facilities rather than what
villages
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 can provide to their
people
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, especially for basic
nessecities
Correct your spelling
necessities
such
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 as education, healthcare, entertainment, or shopping.
While
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cities
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also
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 tend to be more crowded and have bad air quality because of
its
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apply
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traffic congestion, they
normallt
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normally
 have an integrated public transportation system to make
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
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their
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for their
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 citizens to commute and mobilize their daily activities. Tokyo,
for example
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, is one of the most crowded
cities
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 in the world which provides
variety
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a variety
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 of facilities for its
people
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,
as well as
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 sophisticated public transportation technology.
On the other hand
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, village
life
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 is less lively compared to major
cities
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due to
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 their lack of facilities,
smaller
Correct word choice
and smaller
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 population. At the same time,
villages
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 have better air quality
,
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apply
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 and are quiet, calming, and relaxing despite having shortages
to
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in
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 bigger
cities
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. That explains why many
people
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 plan their retirements relocating to
villages
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 or smaller
cities
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 to live a
life
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 happily without many noises and distractions as much as
while
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 they are in bigger
cities
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. To give a clear example, most immigrants from smaller regions,
they
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apply
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work and temporarily move to bigger
cities
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 mostly for the sake of
better
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a better
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 career. Many years later after they gather enough savings, they eventually come back to their origins. In conclusion, living both in
cities
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or
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and
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villages
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own perks, it depends on
people
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's needs.
However
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, village
life
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 becomes a dream of many
people
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 after working their entire
life
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 in bigger
cities
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 to retire and live a
life
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 happily with less
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
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 and distractions.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure proper use of compound and complex sentences to articulate points clearly.
coherence cohesion
Structure the essay with clear paragraphs, each presenting a central idea effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to better connect ideas and show the relationship between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a more in-depth exploration of both viewpoints before presenting the conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure the opinion is clear and thoroughly explored through the essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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