Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

Nowadays, modern

people

are facing apathetic attitudes in society. There are many reasons that the majority of residents in a vibrant city tend to not know their

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

. For that reason, the

government

should be making some viable solutions in order to reduce

this

problem.

Firstly

, living in motivational technology makes

people

who have busy lives. They always go to work early and go back late.

Besides

, they have to maintain

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

social relationships

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

make them not have enough time to interact with their

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

For example

, after working, most

people

often keep in touch with their relatives through social media. Sometimes, they have to spend a long time sitting in front of a screen to complete their deadline.

Secondly

people

living at the pace of life tend to scare brothers. They are so busy with their jobs.

Hence

, they want to spend their remaining time in order to balance their life and work.

For example

, on the weekend, they can have family gatherings where they play together.

However

, they do not know someone who can support them in an emergency. For that reason, the

government

should have some possible solutions to reduce

this

problem. They can run public awareness campaigns. residents’ cities do not have opportunities to interact with

people

Thus

, the

government

should hold a physical outdoors in order to encourage all

people

to attend their campaign.

For instance

, they can hold the marathon championship on the weekend.

Furthermore

, inhabitants should increase their awareness about the negative impacts of apathetic attitudes in society. For that, they can incentivize their children to interact with

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

For example

, they encourage their children to go to their

neighbor's

Change the spelling

neighbour's

show examples

home to play. There are some drawbacks when many

people

do not know their

neighbor

Fix the agreement mistake

neighbors

show examples

. so the

government

has to be in charge of increasing public awareness about negative impacts. From that, they have some viable solutions to reduce

this

problem.

Submitted by sinh.ielts on Thu Nov 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a basic structure but lacks clarity in its progression of ideas. Avoid overly general statements and strive to create a more logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transitions should be used effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

You have addressed the topic and provided some relevant examples, but the task could be achieved more effectively. Try to fully develop your ideas and directly answer the question in a more detailed manner. Use more specific examples to support your points and make sure that your conclusion summarizes the main ideas and relates them to the prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

write a paragraph about the advantages and disadvantages of teamwork

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work it their free time.This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.