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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweight the disadvantages?

#university #students #part #studies #outweight
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In recent years, a significant trend has happened where students are aiming to pursue their academic journey overseas.
This
 phenomenon,
while
 presenting certain advantages,
also
 brings a considerable disadvantage
such
 as
feeling
Add an article
the feeling
a feeling
show examples
 of isolation. On the positive side, studying abroad can open so many new life experiences that their own country could not offer. New cultures are something that can be an added value to an individual's life in gaining perspectives about the world that we live in.
Additionally
, the exposure of living overseas could
also
 bring opportunities
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 making global connections. Opening up to acquaintances from around the world would allow them to receive insights that weren't available in their hometown.
Furthermore
, the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system will allow student to possess
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 education that they may not be accessible in their own country. Having
this
 knowledge will equip the generation with skills, experience, and insights that they could share to contribute to their homeland.
However
, the drawbacks of
such
 relocations are
also
 worth to be considered. The emotional strain resulting from physical separation
with
Change preposition
from
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 family cannot be underestimated. Moving to a new location means leaving behind an established connection that may cause a feeling of isolation.
This
 disruption could
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a negative impact on an individual’s well-being. In conclusion, the decision to go overseas for a study,
while
 causing a sense of isolation, comes with numerous benefits. I truly believe that the experience, skills, and knowledge that could be possessed by having the opportunity
of studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
 abroad will outweigh the downside of it.
Submitted by a.wangsaatmaja on

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coherence cohesion
You should aim for a clear and logical structure in your essay. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that paragraphs are organized in a logical sequence. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without clear transitions.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include an introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. Both the introduction and conclusion should be clear and to the point.
task achievement
Your main ideas need to be developed with specific examples and details. Instead of mentioning general benefits and disadvantages, provide concrete instances that clearly illustrate your points. This will enhance the strength of your argument and demonstrate a higher level of task achievement.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your essay must cover both advantages and disadvantages of the topic in balanced detail. Also, be sure to state your own position clearly and explain why you hold that view, particularly with respect to the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cross-cultural competency
  • global perspective
  • academic enrichment
  • linguistic proficiency
  • professional networking
  • self-reliance
  • multicultural environment
  • cultural assimilation
  • financial burden
  • scholarship opportunities
  • academic credit transfer
  • personal adversity
  • socioeconomic disparity
  • cultural nuances
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