The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of public. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, with the development of technologies means that scientists are increasingly getting the chance to discover the universe and the government is ready to pay millions of dollars to do it. But some others think that
instead
of wasting
money
to explore the galaxy, authorities should pay attention to addressing the public's issues. In my opinion, I agree that the government should spend
money
to solve social problems. First of all, of course, it can be seen that it will cost a huge amount of
money
to build a rocket or spacecraft.
For example
, materials to create means to support space travel
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
very expensive.
Therefore
, spending billions of dollars to do it will damage the country's economy.
In addition
,
this
is
also
an industry
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
do harm to the atmosphere of the earth. In fact when a spacecraft launchs, it can produce a lot of emissions.
Besides
that, on our planet, there are a lot of current issues that need to be dealt with.
For example
, all countries in the world should concentrate on improving the lives of dwellers or find ways to help the country's economy grow.
Instead
of spending
money
for cosmic explorations, spending financial resources to upgrade some infrastructures like hospitals, buildings or shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
is much better now. Focusing on education is
also
necessary, children are the germ of the future to help the country, so giving the best education to children is
also
a way to improve people’s
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. If we have better educational qualities, in future, we can
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
space travel to discover other planets with less
money
than
this
time.
To sum up
, advance in technology and spending on research in space is still important, but the government should make sure that it has no negative effect on other fields and
also
maintain the growth of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but the argument could be further developed with more in-depth analysis and specific examples. To strengthen your task achievement, make sure to present a thorough response to the prompt, outlining clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a recognizable structure, it could be significantly improved with clear transitions and better paragraphing. Work on linking your ideas more effectively, using cohesive devices to guide the reader through your argument, and always ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points clearly.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: