In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasizes that their products are new in some way. Why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#business #products #development

Recently most entrepreneurs

start

Wrong verb form

have started

show examples

to campaign their products as a breakthrough in some

way

when

carry

Change the verb form

carrying

show examples

out

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertising.

This

then

can be seen as a trial to market the

product

based on the uniqueness it has

than

Change preposition

over

show examples

other products. Personally, I agree that

this

trend can

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

more positive development than the negative one. First and foremost, some companies nowadays try to gain profit as much as they can gain by branding the products as 'an odd one' or unique. Some temptations

then

Add a missing verb

are then

show examples

made

such

as advertising the

product

as the one and only in the city, or

hire

Wrong verb form

hiring

show examples

an artist or influencer to up-brand the

product

. Another approach can be

in recruiting

Change preposition

to recruit

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

staff with excellent marketing

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

. Usually,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

companies will seek those

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

who have good public speaking and can explain better to

customer

Fix the agreement mistake

customers

show examples

. I think

this

way

of advertising brings

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

impact not only

Change preposition

show examples

company

Add an article

the company

show examples

but

also

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and the staff themselves. For

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

concern,

this

way

means that in

this

era there are a great number of creative people. The creativity that

made

Add a missing verb

is made

show examples

somehow brings new knowledge for some people, especially in terms of marketing language. Another positive development of

this

way

is bringing the staff to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

higher position in

company

Add an article

the company

a company

show examples

as a result

of the creativity or breakthrough they bring. Many parties

then

accept the advantages of

this

creative advertising.

To sum up

, I believe that advertising a

product

new

Change the article

a new

show examples

way

is a brilliant idea. It

Verb problem

benefits

show examples

not only bring benefit to companies but

also

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many parties.

Submitted by e.warikar on Thu Nov 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay contains a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and the writer's opinion clearly, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate the opinion. Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that expand on the main idea.

task achievement

Work on including more specific examples to support your arguments. The prompt asks you to explore the reasons behind businesses emphasizing newness and to provide a balanced discussion on whether this is a positive or negative development. Include relevant examples to make your argument stronger and more convincing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear? -Discuss both sides and give your opinion
It is true that electronic books become the most popular nowadays, however; paper books are still widespread as well. It seems to me paper-based books are more preferable and easy to access.
6
band
In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
In some nations, most institute students choose to live with their family under one roof, while others go to other cities for education. Even though, living with your parents and siblings can guarantee you, that you have supporters on your side, youngsters actually become more responsible by living alone. I believe, the advantages of living aside from your family outweigh the disadvantages.
5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Nowadays, the overall health rate in the whole world has become a big issue, and in order to fix that, some people want more sporting centers to be built, while others think it will not make any difference. I would assume that the lack of sports buildings is not the main reason for a low health rate around the world; nevertheless, adding more specific sports facilities could help to fix this problem.
6
band
These days internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both sides of the views and give your opinion.
In this massive era of technological furtherance, online courses have been vastly prominent among the students and lectures. In order to compensate for the development of the internet, many university students have chosen internet-based courses that offer easy-access learning in any places and situations, whereas others believe that student presence on campus is also important. In my view, I would say that although it’s undeniable that old-fashioned offline classes are important, internet-based courses are more efficient and modern which really provides students with enormous learning access as explained in the following essay.
<4
band
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and imagination than reading. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Doing a pleasure activity with a child can evolve more skill and imagination than reading. It has some bullet points which i will discuss in the forthcoming paragraph.

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasizes that their products are new in some way. Why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear? -Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

These days internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both sides of the views and give your opinion.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and imagination than reading. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.