IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasizes that their products are new in some way. Why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Recently most entrepreneurs
start
Wrong verb form
have started
show examples
 to campaign their products as a breakthrough in some
way
Use synonyms
 when
carry
Change the verb form
carrying
show examples
 out
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertising.
This
Linking Words
then
Linking Words
 can be seen as a trial to market the
product
Use synonyms
 based on the uniqueness it has
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 other products. Personally, I agree that
this
Linking Words
 trend can
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 more positive development than the negative one. First and foremost, some companies nowadays try to gain profit as much as they can gain by branding the products as 'an odd one' or unique. Some temptations
Linking Words
then
Add a missing verb
are then
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 made
such
Linking Words
 as advertising the
product
Use synonyms
 as the one and only in the city, or
hire
Wrong verb form
hiring
show examples
 an artist or influencer to up-brand the
product
Use synonyms
. Another approach can be
in recruiting
Change preposition
to recruit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
staff with excellent marketing
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. Usually,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies will seek those
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who have good public speaking and can explain better to
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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. I think
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 of advertising brings
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 impact not only
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and the staff themselves. For
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 concern,
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 means that in
this
Linking Words
 era there are a great number of creative people. The creativity that
made
Add a missing verb
is made
show examples
 somehow brings new knowledge for some people, especially in terms of marketing language. Another positive development of
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 is bringing the staff to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher position in
company
Add an article
the company
a company
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,
as a result
Linking Words
 of the creativity or breakthrough they bring. Many parties
then
Linking Words
 accept the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 creative advertising.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that advertising a
product
Use synonyms
 in
new
Change the article
a new
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 is a brilliant idea. It
is
Verb problem
benefits
show examples
 not only bring benefit to companies but
also
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many parties.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay contains a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and the writer's opinion clearly, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate the opinion. Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that expand on the main idea.
task achievement
Work on including more specific examples to support your arguments. The prompt asks you to explore the reasons behind businesses emphasizing newness and to provide a balanced discussion on whether this is a positive or negative development. Include relevant examples to make your argument stronger and more convincing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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