IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

An Australian friend is coming to visit you, and it will be his/her birthday during the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • say how you feel about the visit? • suggest what you could do on his/her birthday? • ask what your friend thinks of your idea? Write at least 150 words You do not need to write any addresses Begin your letter as follows Dear….

#australian #friend #visit #birthday #idea #addresses #dear…
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Dear Sehar, I am writing a letter to share my feelings
for
Change preposition
about
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 coming
in
Change preposition
to
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 my hometown. Since I received your email I
was
Wrong verb form
have been
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 jubilant that you are planning to visit my city.
However
Linking Words
, it has been
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 time
to
Correct word choice
since to
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see
Wrong verb form
saw
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 you and it is
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 time to welcome you. It is mentioned that you are planning vacations in the upcoming month. On 15th of December is your birthday and I want to arrange a
party
Use synonyms
 on your special day.
Although
Linking Words
, I do not want to share arrangements but I have to. The details of
event
Add an article
the event
an event
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 are being shared by me so please consider my arrangements.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the hotel is arranged
by
Change preposition
apply
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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with
buffet
Correct article usage
a buffet
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 dinner.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
decoration
Fix the agreement mistake
decorations
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 on your birthday will be organised with sprinkles and
party
Use synonyms
 poppers. I
want
Add the particle
want to
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 mention the
musicial
Correct your spelling
musical
 string band so our friends can enjoy
this
Linking Words
party
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
favourit
Correct your spelling
favourite
 songs will be played by the band and you
would
Wrong verb form
will be
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 happy
that
Change preposition
at that
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 moment. I can arrange all these things on
you
Change the pronoun
your
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 special day if you think something is missed by me so do let me know before I finalise
this
Linking Words
party
Use synonyms
. If you add more
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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 I will admire your participation. I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Warm Wishes,
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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coherence cohesion
The overall structure needs more clarity, with an appropriate introduction and clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain one central idea and be linked with cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Begin with a suitable greeting and end with an appropriate closing statement. Avoid overly casual language for consistency with the semi-formal nature of the task.
task achievement
It is essential to directly address all three bullet points. Ensure that the letter opens with the expression of feelings about the visit, followed by a clear birthday plan section, and a straightforward request for feedback on the propositions.
task achievement
The tone should be consistent and appropriately matched to the recipient of the letter (a friend). The current tone fluctuates and can be made more natural and friendly.
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