An Australian friend is coming to visit you, and it will be his/her birthday during the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • say how you feel about the visit? • suggest what you could do on his/her birthday? • ask what your friend thinks of your idea? Write at least 150 words You do not need to write any addresses Begin your letter as follows Dear….

#australian #friend #visit #birthday #idea #addresses #dear…

Dear Sehar, I am writing a letter to share my feelings

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

coming

Change preposition

show examples

my hometown. Since I received your email I

was

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

jubilant that you are planning to visit my city.

However

, it has been

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

time

Correct word choice

since to

show examples

see

Wrong verb form

saw

show examples

you and it is

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

time to welcome you. It is mentioned that you are planning vacations in the upcoming month. On 15th of December is your birthday and I want to arrange a

party

on your special day.

Although

, I do not want to share arrangements but I have to. The details of

event

Add an article

the event

an event

show examples

are being shared by me so please consider my arrangements.

Besides

this

, the hotel is arranged

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

with

buffet

Correct article usage

a buffet

show examples

dinner.

Moreover

, the

decoration

Fix the agreement mistake

decorations

show examples

on your birthday will be organised with sprinkles and

party

poppers. I

want

Add the particle

want to

show examples

mention the

musicial

Correct your spelling

musical

string band so our friends can enjoy

this

party

Furthermore

, the

favourit

Correct your spelling

favourite

songs will be played by the band and you

would

Wrong verb form

will be

show examples

happy

that

Change preposition

at that

show examples

moment. I can arrange all these things on

you

Change the pronoun

your

show examples

special day if you think something is missed by me so do let me know before I finalise

this

party

. If you add more

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

I will admire your participation. I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Warm Wishes,

Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on Thu Nov 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

The overall structure needs more clarity, with an appropriate introduction and clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain one central idea and be linked with cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Begin with a suitable greeting and end with an appropriate closing statement. Avoid overly casual language for consistency with the semi-formal nature of the task.

task achievement

It is essential to directly address all three bullet points. Ensure that the letter opens with the expression of feelings about the visit, followed by a clear birthday plan section, and a straightforward request for feedback on the propositions.

task achievement

The tone should be consistent and appropriately matched to the recipient of the letter (a friend). The current tone fluctuates and can be made more natural and friendly.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

212 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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