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Band 6.5

In recent years, food imported from various parts of the world in supermarkets has become prevalent. While some view this trend as positive, I would argue that the repercussions for local producers are a negative overall.

#years #food #parts #world #supermarkets #trend #repercussions #producers
In recent years,
food
 imported from various parts of the world in
supermarkets
 has become prevalent.
While
 some view
this
 trend as positive, I would argue that the repercussions for local producers are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative
overall
. One compelling argument in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the availability of globally sourced
food
 in
supermarkets
 is the increased variety it offers
consumers
. In the distant past, shoppers were limited to consuming locally grown produce, which could result in a monotonous diet lacking diversity. Nowadays,
however
,
supermarkets
 provide an extensive range of fruits, vegetables, spices, and other
food
 products from different corners of the globe.
This
 enables
consumers
 to explore new
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
 and experience diverse culinary traditions, enriching their gastronomic experiences.
For instance
, in most
supermarkets
, one can find exotic fruits
such
 as dragon fruit from Vietnam, mangoes from India, and avocados from Mexico. By having access to
such
 diverse options,
consumers
 can broaden their palate and enjoy a more varied and exciting diet.
On the other hand
, the easy availability of
food
 produced globally is detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 local farmers. When
consumers
 prefer imported goods over locally grown products, it can lead to a decline in demand for local agricultural produce. Local farmers may
then
 face financial difficulties and struggle to sustain their livelihoods.
For example
, in a study conducted in the United Kingdom, it was found that the demand for imported strawberries during winter had a negative impact on local strawberry farmers.
Due to
 the availability of strawberries from warmer climates,
consumers
 were less inclined to purchase locally grown strawberries, leading to a decline in sales for local producers.
This
 situation not only affected the farmers’ income but
also
 disrupted the local economy in a variety of subtle ways.
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task achievement
Your essay clearly responds to the task and presents a well-rounded argument. However, to achieve an even higher score, you could introduce a stronger and more compelling conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of transitional phrases between paragraphs. This will help to further illustrate the development of your ideas and create smoother connections between points.
task achievement
You provided strong and relevant examples to support your points, such as the availability of exotic fruits and the impact on UK strawberry farmers. These examples add depth and credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs that present and develop distinct ideas. This makes your argument easy to follow and understand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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