Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

As
individuals
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individuals,
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we face occasional trials,
such
as lack of funds or unemployment and
while
some believe it is best to live with them, others are of the opinion
that is
way better to make changes to these predicaments. It is much easier to adapt and avoid risks if we follow the sentiments of the first class
however
, only if individuals truly
made
Wrong verb form
make
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efforts, will they find solutions to their problems. I think forcing people to accept their situation can have a negative psychological impact on their growth. When we learn to live in conditions that are unsatisfactory, it is easier to avoid risks because they often pose more problems. Making money or getting a better job might mean falling into the hands of scammers for some and for others huge investments might come at a loss. If we simply choose to adapt and make the most of the situation or to see it as a lesson, we avoid the
forementioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
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risks.
For instance
, when my elder brother was not happy with the way his employer treated him, he left his job to start his own tech business with his little savings and
as a result
, he ended up starving his family.
On the other hand
, solutions come at a price and the price to pay in
this
case is our continuous effort to modify the situations we find ourselves. Nothing good really comes to those who sit idle but with the dedication to the freedom from situations, we render ourselves open to possible answers.
For instance
, in the quest to make more money, when I was not fully satisfied with my pocket money, I started a couple of businesses and found that the sale of African foods was more profitable than any other start-up I ventured into. In my opinion, awful experiences can make people more inclined to negative thoughts that yield no results and can predispose them to depression, anxiety and other traumas. Inspiration will only come from the determination to try and not
with
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from
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the comfort of these experiences because we are learning to train the mind to see beyond its current state. To illustrate, nobody who has sat down and done nothing has ever been able to get themselves out of their state. In conclusion, we avoid the negative consequences of change if we do nothing, but find many ways to tackle problems when we try. I think freedom only comes when we try.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and generally serve their purpose, it is important to ensure that they are both impactful and clearly reflect the overall argument of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop each point with specific examples and explanations to reinforce the arguments being made. Using real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios can make your essay more relatable and persuasive.
task achievement
It is paramount that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task, offering a detailed discussion of each viewpoint and a clear personal stance. Ensure that the essay remains relevant to the prompt at all times.
task achievement
Strive to present comprehensive ideas that are thoroughly elaborated. Avoid superficial handling of the subject matter, and take the time to delve deeper into your arguments.
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Provide more relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. This can involve drawing from personal experience, factual information, or hypothetical situations that illustrate your argument effectively.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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