IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #feature #comparisons
The given line graph illustrates the information about
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
people
 aged 65 and over in 3 different
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
Japan
,
Sweden
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in the period of 100 years between 1940 and 2040.
Overall
, it can be seen from
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
 graph
proportion
 of
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 aged 65 and over in
Japan
,
Sweden
 and
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 has
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
Replace the word
increased
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 trend. And in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2040
Japan
 has the most
proportion
 of
people
 aged 65 and over and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 has the least. in 1940
Japan
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
proportion
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the most but in the period of 80 years between 1940 and 2020
Japan
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
tends
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to increase but
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 little and
Sweden
 increased sharply in the
proportion
 of
people
 aged 65 and over. In 2020
Sweden
 rose to the top in the
proportion
 of
people
 aged 65 and over
while
Japan
 was still the least. From 2020 to 2040 all 3
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 still
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 but
Japan
 increased sharply in the
proportion
 of
people
 aged 65 and over and rose to the top
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, people, japan, sweden, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 6 times.
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