2.Do you see any barriers that you may need to overcome to reach this goal?

#barriers

The MSc in Finance at Imperial College is well-positioned to address some barriers and prepare me for being successful.It is crucial to acknowledge and overcome some barriers in order to succeed. One notable challenge is the high competition in the investment banking industry. An increasing number of people are opting to work in jobs related to investment banking, so it is important to stand out and differentiate from others not only academically but

also

extracurricular.

Furthermore

, the rapid evolution in the industry. Nowadays, the use of technology is essential in

this

area, with the rapid technological advances, it is important the continuously adapt to these changes, with continuous improvement of my skills, so I can remain relevant and competitive in the field.

Moreover

, I need to expand my knowledge of quantitative research methods and different programming methods used for industry,

such

as the analysis of problems and future provisions. I had many courses related to

this

area, but I lack experience in putting these methods into practice in the real world.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Thu Nov 30 2023

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Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure that the essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your argument effectively. While you presented some challenges, the conclusion should summarise these points and possibly suggest how you may address them.

Logical Structure

In terms of logical structure, make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is directly connected to the overall topic. The essay jumps from competition, to technology without clear transitions.

Supporting Examples

When providing examples, strive to include a few detailed and specific case studies or personal experiences that demonstrate the points made. Generic statements should be supported by specific details.

Task Achievement

For task achievement, it's important to address all parts of the prompt fully. The essay addresses some barriers but doesn't elaborate on concrete strategies for overcoming these barriers.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use paragraphing judiciously to enhance coherence. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Transitions between points can also be strengthened by using a variety of linking words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

171 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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2.Do you see any barriers that you may need to overcome to reach this goal?

Fully explain your ideas

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The plans below show a student room for two people and a student room for one person at an Australian university. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Question : some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in countryside. What problem does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?

Examine the arguments in favour of and against animal experiments, and come to a conclusion on this issue. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. You should write at least 250 words.