Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiment. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiment #alternatives

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There is an old and endless discussion about animal experiments that divides opinions among the population. Whilst some people argue that it is not necessary, others still believe

that is

Linking Words

crucial for scientific discoveries.

However

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, I don’t agree that testing in

animals

Use synonyms

is justified and I believe there are alternatives to

this

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. One popular example of the use of animal experimentation is the cosmetics industry. To test whether a cosmetic is safe

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for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumers, they use

animals

Use synonyms

as the primary testers.

This

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kind of test causes a lot of suffering to the

animals

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, which live in a cage until the day they die suffering

with

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from

show examples

inimaginable

Correct your spelling

unimaginable

pain. , these experiments are not justified and there are even industries that have never tested

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show examples

animals

Use synonyms

. Healthcare manufacturing is another example of animal experimentation.

It is clear that

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animal tests had a crucial role not only in the development of the new drugs

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

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in the evolution of it. Rare and chronic diseases

were

Verb problem

have

show examples

benefited and many people live better today because of those drugs.

For instance

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, we can cite the discovery of the industrialised insulin which was tested in rabbits in order to treat a severe chronic disease called diabetes.

Although

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this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

tests have importance in the process of new drugs, with the advance of

techonology

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technology

,it is not necessary to be done in

this

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way anymore. The industries now have a wide range of resources that can be used in order to test and make their products safe

Change preposition

for

show examples

the population.

For example

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, the use of data science and biomedicine. In conclusion, industries

such

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comestics

Correct your spelling

cosmetics

and healthcare are used to testing their new products in

animals

Use synonyms

, but with the new technologies we have nowadays,

this

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is not justified.

Submitted by cristina.gpereira on Thu Nov 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks cohesion in some instances where ideas could be more effectively organized and linked. Aim to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices to ensure a tighter argumentative structure.

task achievement

Your introduction does not adequately paraphrase the task and fails to clearly present your position on the topic. The conclusion should also succinctly summarise your main points and restate your opinion. Focus on creating a balanced argument in your body paragraphs, presenting both sides of the issue before stating your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

289 words

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Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiment. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Fully explain your ideas

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