In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Nowadays, Technology is becoming more popular day by day and at the same time proves so beneficial to every person in society. With so many latest devices, Mobile
phones
are the best of them and now become a need of everyone's life because they facilitate them in so many different aspects. I personally appreciate the benefits of cell phones
.
Furthermore
, Now mobile phones
contain so many online payment
applications which facilitate human beings so much like by having this
opportunity people don't need to carry money with them, They can simply pay with their phones
with one click and the biggest benefit of this
is feeling of safe from theft by not carrying cash
in pockets.
At the same time, Some people do not like to pay with their phone because paying online they
does not feel good or you can say they do not feel an attachment to the goods, They buy by paying online so they always like to pay with Correct pronoun usage
apply
cash
. Moreover
, Mobile payment
poses some security risks as well and I am not against of cash
payment
method. If someone feels good and contented by buying with cash
then
it's totally fine but people cannot deny the benefits of online payment
methods.
Thus
, With the aforementioned arguments in favour of the online payment
method now, We can say that the good points of the online payment
method outweigh the drawbacks of cash
methods which is not too dire to ignore.Submitted by ramisha.ejaz23 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and the supporting sentences relate directly to this main idea. Use transition words to guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and a conclusion are present but could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the points that will be addressed in the essay, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points made without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need better support and development. Each paragraph should introduce one clear main idea and follow with specific and relevant examples or evidence to back it up. Aim for depth rather than breadth in your development of ideas.
task achievement
The response touches on the advantages and disadvantages of mobile payments but lacks a clear position and detailed analysis. The task requires you to decide whether the advantages or disadvantages are more significant, and present arguments and examples to support your view.
task achievement
The essay contains ideas relevant to the topic, but they could be more comprehensive and presented in a clearer manner. Structure your essay with clear topic sentences, and develop each paragraph with focused arguments rather than general statements.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to effectively illustrate your points. Rather than making broad assertions about the benefits and drawbacks of mobile payments, give concrete instances where these benefits or drawbacks have been observed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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