IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe cycle have a lot of advantage. whereas others believe bicycle has more disadvantage. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #cycle #advantage #bicycle
Some
people
 argue that the
cycle
 has many benefits,
while
 others argue it has drawbacks. Whilst acknowledging the negatives, I believe that cycling has many
health
 benefits and helps to maintain the sustainability of our environment.
This
 essay will discuss both views and my opinion in detail with relevant examples. On the one hand, there are a plethora of advantages to riding a bicycle.
To begin
 with, it helps to maintain the
health
 of individuals by improving their flexibility and balancing
as well as
 burns a lot of calories which prevents them from the potential
health
 implications
such
 as obesity.
In addition
, it does not require fuel to operate which reduces the risk of carbon emissions on the air and promotes a sustainable environment.
For instance
, it is evident that many European countries increased
cycle
 lanes on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
city roads as it is believed that
people
 who ride bicycles are healthier than those who rely on cars.
On the other hand
, some
people
 argue that it has
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
disadvantages
disadvantag
Fix the infinitive
to disadvantag
show examples
 es.
Firstly
, learning to ride a
cycle
 is not an easy task as it is considered difficult
as well as
 takes more time to be good at balancing and steering.
Additionally
, when compared to the efficiency of vehicles operated using fuel, the
cycle
 was recognised as a slower mode of transport so
people
 cannot rely on
this
 when travelling to longer distances.
For example
, riding cycles for a long time might cause serious back aches and strains on muscles.
As a result
, most of the masses do not appreciate the advantages of cycles. In conclusion,
although
 bicycle has serious disadvantages, I believe that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 contributes to many significant
health
 benefits to civilians and promotes a pollution-free environment.
Submitted by jeeanay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear overview of the topics that will be discussed, including a thesis statement indicating your perspective. Your conclusion should summarize the key points and restate your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each discussing a distinct idea related to the topic. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas and provide smooth transitions between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Expand on your main points with detailed, relevant examples. Avoid overly generalized statements and strive for depth in your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task prompt, ensuring that both sides of the argument are discussed equally before stating your opinion. Make sure to clearly distinguish between your analysis of each viewpoint and your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: