Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

Recently, the potential revolution of the educational
system
increased a
significance
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significant
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discussion.
Although
the development of technology
provide
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provides
show examples
various possibilities for the educational industry, common teaching pattern should not be
gave
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
up. Two reasons will be
further
discussed in the following part of
this
essay.
Initially
,
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
educational
system
establishes
a
Change the article
an
show examples
effectively
Change the adverb
effective
show examples
communication environment. When
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
and
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
are staying in the same classroom, they could have a more
directly
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direct
show examples
conversation, which is crucial for the education process.
For example
, teachers could manipulate the atmosphere of the class, by
observed
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observing
show examples
the reaction of the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
and keep talking with them.
Additionally
,
this
educational pattern would benefit the subject that required in-class practices. It is imaginable that the tutor could
observed
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observe
show examples
the practice of the
student
, and give them feedback
,
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apply
show examples
if they make
an
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a
show examples
mistake.
This
may not only benefit students’ skill development
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
build up
Add a hyphen
build-up
show examples
of the interaction between teacher and
student
. In conclusion, the common educational
system
still
obtain
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obtains
show examples
a few advantages for a more optimised study environment.
This
may
because
Add a missing verb
be because
show examples
this
system
could provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better communication and practical opportunities.
Therefore
,
this
essay
suggest
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suggests
show examples
that, at least in
pre-university
Correct article usage
a pre-university
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state,
this
study
system
should
be maintain
Change the verb form
be maintained
show examples
by the school.
Submitted by heimli6 on

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task achievement
You are to address the prompt directly and make your opinion clear. Provide a balanced discussion and clear arguments to support your standpoint. Your opinion was not clear in the first paragraph, which may confuse the reader about your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outline your view and summarize your main points. Make use of topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and ensure that there is a concluding sentence that ties the paragraph back to the main question.
coherence cohesion
To score higher on coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. You should also organize your ideas more logically with clear progression throughout the essay.
task achievement
Enhance task achievement by providing more developed examples and data to support your arguments. Adding concrete examples and citing sources could strengthen your position and contribute to a comprehensive discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • online learning platforms
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • personalized AI tutors
  • tailored educational experiences
  • human interaction
  • mentor
  • inspire
  • psychological needs
  • group discussions
  • teamwork
  • social aspects of learning
  • critical life skills
  • digital-only format
  • hybrid model
  • educational accessibility
  • personalization
  • facilitating learning
  • curiosity
  • innovation
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