Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society, while others think that education should help people pursue personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Recently, the purpose of why
people
should accept education increased a significant discussion.
It is clear that
,
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apply
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educated
people
have their own
society
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social
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responsibility, since the government
invest
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invested
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a brunch amount of tax to
established
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establish
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this
system.
However
, opponents would argue that individual should
pursues
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pursue
show examples
their own profile after education.
This
essay
would
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will
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discuss both
view
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views
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respectively
Rephrase
apply
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and
advice
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advise
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that
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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two
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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are not
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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. It is reasonable to inquire
educated
Correct word choice
whether educated
show examples
people
take
Correct your spelling
make
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their own contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. A straightforward reason would be even though they would pay for their tutor, most educational institution is
build
Wrong verb form
built
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up for non-profile purpose.
Therefore
, only when
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graduate
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graduated
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graduate
show examples
people
create more
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profiles
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profile
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profiles
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for the whole
society
, those
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institutions
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institution
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institutions
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can have more financial support to keep running.
For instance
, the success of some science
project
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projects
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is
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benefits
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benefit
by
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apply
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the financial support from their sponsor.
On the other hand
,
people
with different
idea
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ideas
show examples
would
emphasised
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emphasise
be emphasised
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that despite
student
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students
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received
Wrong verb form
receiving
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various support, they should maintain their own will for their individual
benefit
.
Although
this
voice is reasonable,
in
Change preposition
to
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some
extend
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extent
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,
for example
, we should respect students’ own will.
Nevertheless
,
this
essay would
additionally
state that
seek
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seeking
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personal
Correct article usage
a personal
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profile
is
Verb problem
does
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not conflict with being useful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
. It is imaginable that
people
with a degree generally have some unique skill.
As a result
, they could
benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
by doing better in their own job and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
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more
people
with their special
skill
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skills
show examples
. Meanwhile, during
this
journey, they may accumulate enough experience for a better salary level which would
additional
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additionally
show examples
benefit
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In conclusion, for educated
individual
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individuals
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,
contribution
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contributing
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to
society
or seeking personal ambition,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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two perspectives should not
be treat
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be treated
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as
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
.
Because there
Correct word choice
There
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are various
dimension
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dimensions
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for
a
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an
show examples
individual to
benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
and they could
archive
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
that
while
they pursue their personal welfare.
Submitted by heimli6 on

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Introduction
You should keep in mind the importance of a clear and direct introduction that addresses the task explicitly. Your introduction must present both views and clarify your own position to set a solid foundation for your essay.
Logical Structure
Improve coherence and cohesion by arranging ideas and paragraphs logically, linking them with appropriate connectors. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, often introduced with a topic sentence, and the following sentences should elaborate and support that idea.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with detailed and specific examples and explanations. By doing so, you strengthen your argument and make your writing more persuasive.
Complete Response
Ensure you give a full response to the task by discussing each view comprehensively and providing specific reasons for your own opinion. Providing a clear, unbiased analysis of both views before concluding will enhance the completeness of your response.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Complex ideas should be explained clearly and thoroughly to aid understanding. Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate these ideas with precision.
Relevant Specific Examples
Include relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. Rather than general statements, provide concrete illustrations from real-life situations, studies or personal experiences where applicable.
Conclusion
End your essay with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reaffirms your own opinion. This should encapsulate your argument and give the reader a sense of closure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preparation
  • beneficial
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • civic responsibility
  • active participation
  • social initiatives
  • societal issues
  • solutions
  • specialized professions
  • personal growth
  • self-fulfillment
  • passions
  • interests
  • potential
  • talents
  • job prospects
  • financial stability
  • balance
  • meaningful
  • foundation
  • emphasis
What to do next:
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