Some people believe that the purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society, while others think that education should help people pursue personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Recently, the purpose of why
people
should accept education increased a significant discussion. It is clear that
,
educated Remove the comma
apply
people
have their own society
responsibility, since the government Replace the word
social
invest
a brunch amount of tax to Wrong verb form
invested
established
Wrong verb form
establish
this
system. However
, opponents would argue that individual should pursues
their own profile after education. Change the verb form
pursue
This
essay would
discuss both Wrong verb form
will
view
Change to a plural noun
views
respectively
and Rephrase
apply
advice
that Replace the word
advise
this
two Correct determiner usage
these
idea
are not Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
opposite
.
It is reasonable to inquire Correct article usage
the opposite
educated
Correct word choice
whether educated
people
take
their own contribution to Correct your spelling
make
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. A straightforward reason would be even though they would pay for their tutor, most educational institution is build
up for non-profile purpose. Wrong verb form
built
Therefore
, only when Replace the word
graduate
graduated
Replace the word
graduate
people
create more Fix the agreement mistake
profiles
profile
for the whole Fix the agreement mistake
profiles
society
, those Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
institution
can have more financial support to keep running. Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
For instance
, the success of some science project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
is
Wrong verb form
benefits
benefit
by
the financial support from their sponsor.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, people
with different idea
would Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
emphasised
that despite Change the verb form
emphasise
be emphasised
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
received
various support, they should maintain their own will for their individual Wrong verb form
receiving
benefit
. Although
this
voice is reasonable, in
some Change preposition
to
extend
, Replace the word
extent
for example
, we should respect students’ own will. Nevertheless
, this
essay would additionally
state that seek
Wrong verb form
seeking
personal
profile Correct article usage
a personal
is
not conflict with being useful for Verb problem
does
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. It is imaginable that people
with a degree generally have some unique skill. As a result
, they could benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
by doing better in their own job and help
more Wrong verb form
helping
people
with their special skill
. Meanwhile, during Fix the agreement mistake
skills
this
journey, they may accumulate enough experience for a better salary level which would additional
Change the adjective
additionally
benefit
themselves
.
In conclusion, for educated Correct pronoun usage
them
individual
, Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
contribution
to Replace the word
contributing
society
or seeking personal ambition, this
two perspectives should not Correct determiner usage
these
be treat
as Change the verb form
be treated
opposite
. Correct article usage
the opposite
Because there
are various Correct word choice
There
dimension
for Fix the agreement mistake
dimensions
a
individual to Change the article
an
benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and they could archive
that Verb problem
achieve
while
they pursue their personal welfare.Submitted by heimli6 on
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Introduction
You should keep in mind the importance of a clear and direct introduction that addresses the task explicitly. Your introduction must present both views and clarify your own position to set a solid foundation for your essay.
Logical Structure
Improve coherence and cohesion by arranging ideas and paragraphs logically, linking them with appropriate connectors. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, often introduced with a topic sentence, and the following sentences should elaborate and support that idea.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with detailed and specific examples and explanations. By doing so, you strengthen your argument and make your writing more persuasive.
Complete Response
Ensure you give a full response to the task by discussing each view comprehensively and providing specific reasons for your own opinion. Providing a clear, unbiased analysis of both views before concluding will enhance the completeness of your response.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Complex ideas should be explained clearly and thoroughly to aid understanding. Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate these ideas with precision.
Relevant Specific Examples
Include relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. Rather than general statements, provide concrete illustrations from real-life situations, studies or personal experiences where applicable.
Conclusion
End your essay with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reaffirms your own opinion. This should encapsulate your argument and give the reader a sense of closure.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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