The bar chart gives information about the comparison of visitors going to distinct museums in London from June to October.

The bar chart gives information about the comparison of visitors going to distinct museums in London from June to October.
The bar chart provides information about the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of
museum
visitors
in four thematic places in London between June to October. In general, the
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
museum
is the most popular place for tourists
while
Add an article
the national
show examples
national
Correct your spelling
National Museum
show examples
museum
is
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
with the lowest
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
of
visitors
.
According to
the data, the British
Museum
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
a peak of
visitors
at approximately 700.000 in August.
Similarly
,
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
Museum
also
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the highest
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
number of tourists
show examples
in August with 600.000 people
comes
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
. The lowest record of people visiting
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
Museum
happens in June and July with roughly 400.000
visitors
. Meanwhile, the statistics
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
the
visitors
of History
Museum
dropped
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
around 200.000 in October.
In contrast
, the National
Museum
always held the record for the lowest
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
every month over the period, the average of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who visit
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Museum
is around 200.000-300.000 per month. Meanwhile, the number of science
museum
shows a decline from June to August and reach its lowest point in October at 300.000
attendes
Correct your spelling
attendees
attendee
.
Submitted by ryanrush16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visitors with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Visitations
  • Trends
  • Peak season
  • Popularity
  • Patterns
  • Outliers
  • Surge
  • Temporary exhibitions
  • Demographics
  • Attract
  • Museum tour
  • Cultural attraction
  • Historical exhibits
  • Tourist influx
  • Visitor statistics
  • Monthly comparison
  • Seasonal variation
  • Cultural significance
  • Footfall
  • Exhibit appeal
  • Museum's profile
  • Visitor engagement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: