Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It
is says
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is said
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that utilizing
smart
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smartphone
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phone
and
computer
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computers
show examples
by
Add an article
a teenager
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teenager
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teenagers
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has
bad
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a bad
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impact on
teeenagers
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teenagers
reading and writing mastery.
This
essay strongly
disagree
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disagrees
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with
this
statement because using
technology
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
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more opportunity to improve the
expertis
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expertise
experts
on
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in
show examples
reading
writing
Correct word choice
and writing
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also
it
is helping
Wrong verb form
helps
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to
practicing
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practice
show examples
whenever they want,
whereever
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wherever
they are. By
useing
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using
phone
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phones
show examples
and
computer
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computers
show examples
youngstar getting
significent
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significant
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
to up their level of reading and writing because of using
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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they can get more available
resorces
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resources
in their hand. To get resources make them
to
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of
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using
Verb problem
apply
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them and
mastery
Replace the word
master
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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reading and writing. Which
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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possible when they will not use the gadget.
For instance
, in 2013 Ohio University research findings
shows
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show
show examples
that 75%
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of studens
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studens
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students
who use
the
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apply
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technology
to upgrade their writing, reading and study improve
tremundusly insted
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tremendously instead
of other students. Which
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
the positive impact of using the
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
phone
and
computer
.
Moreover
, utilizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic device can make sure to get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education anywhere any time, which ensure no one
missed
Wrong verb form
misses
show examples
their lesson and skills
up positively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. Where a student can get more used to working and studying
throug
Correct your spelling
through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
and
utilinzing
Correct your spelling
utilizing
so easily
acnd
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and
get the courses and classes from
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
show examples
phone
.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
it is helping to increase the skills of reading writing listening more
easy way
Rephrase
easily
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then
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than
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styding
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styling
staying
studying
offline or
write
Wrong verb form
writing
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pen and paper.
For example
, I took my IELTS preparation
while
I
am
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
job holder. Because I got all the classes from my
computer
and practice them
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
my
computer
and
phone
. Which helped me to take
adequent
Correct your spelling
adequate
preparation on reading, writing and listening.
To conclude
, people think that using more
technology
by teenagers
make
Verb problem
has
show examples
damaging
Add an article
a damaging
show examples
effect on their reading and writing ability. I firmly disagreed with
this
. It is because Using the
phone
computer
influance
Correct your spelling
influences
their expertise and
helping
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
them exercise anytime.
Submitted by intothewildasalex on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay displays some logical sequence in presenting ideas; however, coherence can be enhanced by better organizing paragraph topics and improving transitional phrases. Consider clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, the introduction needs to more clearly state your thesis, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points. Ensure that both parts explicitly reflect the essay's argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are somewhat supported with reasons or examples, but the development of these is limited. Expand on your reasons, and provide more concrete and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task; however, the response could be more fully extended. Discuss contrasting viewpoints and explain your position further to fully satisfy the task requirements.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear, but at times they lack comprehensiveness. Develop each paragraph further, using more complex structures and vocabulary to express your points more precisely and to enhance the depth of your ideas.
task achievement
You introduced an example to support your argument, but your essay needs more relevant and specific examples. Aim to include various examples from credible sources that directly support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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