IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that social networking site have a huge negative impact on both individual and society to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 modern era, technology become the most influence in human life.
However
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, accessibility to technology causes
people
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 to have perspective negative attitudes toward
media
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 argument.
To begin
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 with, the largest problem of humans is connected with some person that they know but the limitation of the contract especially being far apart;
therefore
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, the contribution of social
media
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 makes communication more convincing and easier.
In addition
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, it organizational tool for movements: Social
media
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 can act as a powerful tool for social change, raising awareness and organizing movements (e.g., environmental campaigns, racial equality protests). It can mobilize
people
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 more effectively than traditional
media
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. Alternatively, the social network has several platforms
such
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 as Facebook, X and Instagram that are easy to access without strict requirements. Owing to, the largest issues in society nowadays like cyberbullying or privacy of users quite the greatest problems. In fact, numerous individuals always share content about their personal lives and information on social
media
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 sites, which leads to privacy misuse of data;
in particular
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, false information that may have a drawback impact.
Moreover
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, few individuals facing trauma caused by cyberbullying; in fact, it is very hard to know whether some
people
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 that we know online their will real good intentions or not, The greatest factor of cyberbullying is
people
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 who don't like each other in real life but don't dare to confront each other so their choose to create themselves online to bully each other online without the other person knowing. Which can have severe
hence
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 on an individual's mental and emotional well-being.
This
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 is specifically concerning for teenagers and young adults. In summary, social
media
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 helps connect
people
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 globally communication and draw attention to essential events.
On the other hand
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, hard to check the history of individuals that real or not because there can be everyone on the online platform.

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coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from clearer organization. Try to structure your paragraphs so that each one focuses on a single main point or idea. This will improve the overall logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your points to make your ideas more comprehensive and clear. Providing more detailed examples will help enhance your main arguments.
task achievement
You have provided a complete and relevant response to the prompt, addressing the impact of social networking on both individuals and society.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You’ve used specific examples, such as the reference to platforms like Facebook and Instagram, to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social networking sites
  • Negative impact
  • Isolation
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Mental health issues
  • Privacy breaches
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Misinformation
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Professional networking
  • Global connections
  • Social change
  • Awareness
  • Environmental campaigns
  • Traditional media
  • Marketing opportunities
  • Personal brands
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