IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The two maps below show road acces to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. To summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show road acces to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. To summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #maps #show #road #acces #city #summerise #information #features #comparisons
The two pictures display the development of the
city
 hospital in the given years. In 2007, the
city
 hospital was in the north and it was surrounded by the Ring
Road
. Moving to the south, There were two junctions in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and south, one
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 between a Hospital
Road
, which went from north to south, and Ring
Road
 and the other
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 between Hospital
Road
 and
City
Road
. The location of the bus stops was on the left and right sides of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hospital
Road
. There was a staff and public
car
park
 next to the right bus stops. In 2010, the public
car
park
 and the staff
car
park
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 separated. The location of the staff
car
park
 was still the same place. Yet, the public
car
park
’s location was moved to
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 side
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 hospital
city
. The Hospital
Road
 was added with two roundabouts. In general, there was a higher demand for the parking space and the bus station.
Submitted by pobbywang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add some linking words.
▼
Linking words: Add linking words.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words city, road, car, park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: