It is better for young people to get the advises from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,young
people
try to learn,make,create and gain experience
,While
the young generation
tries to gain lifetime
experience
they can get advice
from old people
.I agree with this
opinion for a couple of reasons.
Initially
,old
Correct article usage
the old
generation
has a lot of experience
because of their lifetime
and work.The young generation
should look up to their lives and get advice
. Old people
could know what will happen in the young generations
' lives because of their experiences in life and work.For instance
,teachers always try to show us what will happen in the future.They know what could happen or what problems could towards you in your life.In addition
,because of cultural respect, young people
should listen and take advice
from older generations
.For example
in countries, there are a lot of different cultures,but generally one of them is the same, It is respect to
older Change preposition
for
people
.In worklife experienced people
know what to do in hard decisions or in problem solutions.If young people
wants
to learn and develop themselves they can look to their old and experienced Change the verb form
want
generation
.
In a lifetime
young people
must choose guidance for them.If young people
choose their guide truly,they will be successful in their lifetime
and also
in work life.For example
,successful old people
would explain the way of learning, creating or gaining experience
.The young generation
must take an example by
these guides.Change preposition
from
Moreover
,they must choose benefits from this
large and wide experience
pool.For instance
,if young people
try to learn something they must take advice
about learning.Not about another and different things.
In conclusion, if young people
take advice
and choose guidance ,they will be successful.Young generations
should be respectful, also
they should listen to old generations
' experiences to learn and be successful in the future.Submitted by canberkakkaya1327 on
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coherence cohesion
You should aim to have a more defined structure in your essay, with clear introductory, body, and conclusion paragraphs. A thesis statement in the introduction and topic sentences for each paragraph can greatly enhance readability and structure.
coherence cohesion
Including specific examples to support each point can improve the essay's persuasiveness. Try to use real-world examples or statistics where possible to substantiate your claims.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task. You should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement, and consistently reflect this view throughout your essay.
task achievement
While your ideas are related to the topic, they need to be developed more thoroughly. Aim to explore each main point in greater depth and demonstrate a more complex understanding of the topic.
task achievement
It is important to maintain relevance to the question throughout your essay. Avoid straying into general statements that do not directly support your position on the given statement.