It is better for young people to get the advises from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,young
people
try to learn,make,create and gain
experience
,
While
the young
generation
tries to gain
lifetime
experience
they can get
advice
from old
people
.I agree with
this
opinion for a couple of reasons.
Initially
,
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
generation
has a lot of
experience
because of their
lifetime
and work.The young
generation
should look up to their lives and get
advice
. Old
people
could know what will happen in the young
generations
' lives because of their experiences in life and work.
For instance
,teachers always try to show us what will happen in the future.They know what could happen or what problems could towards you in your life.
In addition
,because of cultural respect, young
people
should listen and take
advice
from older
generations
.
For example
in countries, there are a lot of different cultures,but generally one of them is the same, It is respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
older
people
.In worklife experienced
people
know what to do in hard decisions or in problem solutions.If young
people
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to learn and develop themselves they can look to their old and experienced
generation
. In a
lifetime
young
people
must choose guidance for them.If young
people
choose their guide truly,they will be successful in their
lifetime
and
also
in work life.
For example
,successful old
people
would explain the way of learning, creating or gaining
experience
.The young
generation
must take an example
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
these guides.
Moreover
,they must choose benefits from
this
large and wide
experience
pool.
For instance
,if young
people
try to learn something they must take
advice
about learning.Not about another and different things. In conclusion, if young
people
take
advice
and choose guidance ,they will be successful.Young
generations
should be respectful,
also
they should listen to old
generations
' experiences to learn and be successful in the future.
Submitted by canberkakkaya1327 on

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coherence cohesion
You should aim to have a more defined structure in your essay, with clear introductory, body, and conclusion paragraphs. A thesis statement in the introduction and topic sentences for each paragraph can greatly enhance readability and structure.
coherence cohesion
Including specific examples to support each point can improve the essay's persuasiveness. Try to use real-world examples or statistics where possible to substantiate your claims.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task. You should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement, and consistently reflect this view throughout your essay.
task achievement
While your ideas are related to the topic, they need to be developed more thoroughly. Aim to explore each main point in greater depth and demonstrate a more complex understanding of the topic.
task achievement
It is important to maintain relevance to the question throughout your essay. Avoid straying into general statements that do not directly support your position on the given statement.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • insight
  • mentorship
  • holistic
  • innovate
  • generation gap
  • revered
  • guidance
  • perspectives
  • values
  • societal norms
  • diversity
  • life lessons
  • outdated
  • relevance
  • challenges
  • technological advancements
  • creativity
  • tradition
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