IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

ou need to take leave from your work for almost a month for some personal reasons. Write a letter to your Manager. In your letter: • Explain the reason for your leave & the length of your leave. • Explain how you intend to deliver the task that was given to you recently and has to be turned in in a week’s time. • Explain how & who will look after your work while you are away.

#ou #work #month #manager #reason #length #week’s #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I have
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a
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personl
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personal
 issue so , I would like to request you to take one month off from
work
 .
Initially
 , I am
an
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apply
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ambitious and passionate
Iam
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I am
 preparing for
IELTS
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the IELTS
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 exam
for improving
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to improve
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 my English
lnguge
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language
 on my personal life and my career
therefore
 , I reserved the exam
on
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for
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 12
of
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apply
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January 2024 the entire month I am going to study hard with my personal trainer on other hand I am unable to study IELTS and
work
 root cause is my home is far from my
work
 I could not concentrate on studying so, I will study one month
along with
exam
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the exam
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 .
Secondly
, regarding who will
handel
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handle
 my tasks as you remember we hired
new
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a new
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 accountant she
was
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is
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 perfect in her career and she
know
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knows
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 all
transaction
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the transaction
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 details we can faith her to handle some tasks fortunate I do not have any backlog tasks I can deliver my duties conveniently I merely can check and review her
work
 during at that time .
Fainally
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Finally
, thank you for taking
time
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the time
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 and consideration of my letter. Best regards,
Submitted by luhana.chii on

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coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks clarity and appropriate structure. Each paragraph should contain a distinct idea and be well-developed. To improve, ensure that you begin with a clear introduction, followed by separate paragraphs for each point, and a concise conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You should rewrite the letter with correct punctuation, grammar, and spelling. The greeting and closing of the letter are not suitably formal and need to be revised to fit the context of writing to a manager.
task achievement
The task was to explain your reasons for leave, how you would complete your current tasks, and who would handle your responsibilities. While you addressed these, the explanations are incomplete and lack detail. Ensure that you fully address each point in the task, providing clear and detailed responses.
task achievement
The tone needs to be more formal and polite. Refrain from informal language and ensure you use polite requests and appropriate expressions for leave applications.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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