In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Nowadays, It would be supposed training and travelling before going to continue higher academic education are more favourable for students,because, they have faced the reality of society and got familiar with needs and expectations of themselves regarding other
prt
of Correct your spelling
part
population
, but, some opponents assume these educational gaps could be destructed the continency of seeking knowledge and Correct article usage
the population
experience
in youth people ,according to
both views , I will explore in following sentences.
In the beginning , having challenges as a tourist around gave the valuable insight into cultural background , and various types of social behaviours ,for example
, in a personal experience
when I was in France during winter time
,I realized that there are many different eves are designated for their roofs that all rain water smoothly goes to the sea ,so, I came back to my country and drawing these picture for hydrotherapy in my patient in a hospital and I could reduce time
of reviving for my patients ,and , It well-understood this
journey has given to me creativity .
Secondly
,Training in a job situation without previous experience
will clarify communicational weaknesses for young trainers ,for example
, when I was 17 ,I worked in a makeup shopping store while
I had a great exam for entering to
university , Change preposition
apply
whereas
,I put 5 hours for selling make up
instruments , It trained me that Join the words
makeup
time
is a too precious item for success and I must manage the amount of time
for speaking and communicating with others for transferring money .
In another aspect, uncontrollable journeys and working before entering to
college and universities might be transformed Change preposition
apply
in
harmful behaviour that science and education in a specific field are not necessary and only we need Change preposition
into
in
Change preposition
apply
experience
and practice ,for example
, nurses are not able to be a doctor while
they are more qualified than a medical doctor for giving medication to patients and manage their complaints,so, a huge practice could not be replaced by knowledge. Moreover
, I believe that young people before entering medical school must work as a medical or nurse assistant ,because , It would draw a real interaction with patients.
In conclusion, Travelling and training are useful methods for familiarizing students with the reality of society but , They must be limited .Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on
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structure
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure, which makes it challenging for the reader to follow your argument. Consider organizing your ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs, each with a single main point that contributes to your overall argument.
introduction conclusion
Both the introduction and the conclusion of your essay should clearly state your position on the topic. The conclusion should also effectively summarize the main points of your argument without introducing new information.
support
Try to support your main points with relevant examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. Avoid anecdotal personal experiences unless they clearly support a broader point.
task completion
Your response should address all parts of the task in a balanced way. Ensure you discuss both advantages and disadvantages if the question requires, and offer a clear opinion when appropriate.
clarity expression
Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Work on constructing coherent sentences and paragraphs to convey your points effectively. Use a range of vocabulary and strive for accuracy in grammar and punctuation.
examples
Be sure to include examples that are specific and relevant to the point being made. These examples should be drawn from a source that the reader can trust and understand, and they should directly relate to the topic at hand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.