some people say that governments should spend money on building theatres and sport station. Instead, they should spend money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
According to
some people
,the importance of constructing medical care buildings and education
is more beneficial , some of them thinks
that spending money on building Change the verb form
think
theatres
and sports station is useful. Let us discuss both the
views clearly.
The importance of building medical care Correct article usage
apply
centre
is necessary in today's lives .As the Fix the agreement mistake
centres
number of
population Correct quantifier usage
apply
are
increasing the need Change the verb form
is
of
medical support is Change preposition
for
also
going high .Nowadays the disesaes
are increasing Correct your spelling
diseases
disease
among
the world ,the need Change preposition
in
of
medical centres Change preposition
for
are
in demand . The Correct subject-verb agreement
is
authority
should provide proper Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
treated
to the affected persons and it's better to provide free medicine to the poor Replace the word
treatment
people
so that they can get a better life .In addition
to
, providing good Change preposition
apply
education
will helps
to improve the country. The ministry should take steps to give quality and free Wrong verb form
help
education
to every one
. The Replace the word
everyone
people
should get equal
Add an article
an equal
education
. so the government should pay more attention in
Change preposition
to
inversting
for Correct your spelling
investing
the
Correct article usage
apply
education
and medical purposes.
On the other hand
,constructing outdoor stadium are
very important for the present generation. For Change the verb form
is
examplle
,Correct your spelling
example
the
children and Correct article usage
apply
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
are more additcted
to Correct your spelling
addicted
cellphones
today.It may cause Correct your spelling
cell phones
dangerous
to the Replace the word
danger
people
.In addition
to control
that outdoor stadium, Wrong verb form
controlling
play grounds
and play stations Correct your spelling
playgrounds
plays
a major role .In the present life Change the verb form
play
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
can use theatres
for a better experience . They can enjoy with
their families Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
in
the weekends Change preposition
at
through
watching movies .So building Change preposition
by
theatres
and sport station
would be helpful for the Fix the agreement mistake
sports stations
people
.
Finally
, I conclude that,
spending money on constructing medical care centres and for Remove the comma
apply
education
purpose
will be Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
use full
for the poor and needy Wrong verb form
useful
people
.At the same time building theatres
and play station
helps Fix the agreement mistake
stations
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
to live with a positive mind and healthy life .Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
You should work on structuring your essay in a more organized manner. Your introduction should clearly present the topic and outline the main points you will discuss. Each paragraph should contain one main point with supporting details. Conclusions need to restate the topic and summarize the main points made.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure that you answer all parts of the question directly and develop your arguments thoroughly. It's essential to present a balanced view before delivering a clear opinion, which should be consistently maintained throughout the essay. Include relevant examples that specifically support your points for added clarity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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