IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

you are not satisfied with the changing rooms in the sports center that you visit .write a letter to the manager. what the problem is how feel about the problem what steps you want the manager to take

#rooms #sports #center #visit #manager #steps
Dear Mr. Williamson, I hope
this
 email finds you in radiant health and well. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the changing rooms in the sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
To begin
 with, I have been using your sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 for two months, and needless to say,
overall
 the facilities provided by the sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 are good except for the changing
room
. The changing
room
 is not spacious, though more than 20 members using that
center
 at a time.
Moreover
, people have to change their wet clothes after having an exercise. But it is a matter of sorrow that
due to
 the small changing
room
, people have to wait in a queue long time.
This
 type of service creates dissatisfaction among the members. I would suggest some ideas to mitigate these problems.
Firstly
, you can expand the size of the existing changing
room
 with 5 more feet.
On the other hand
, stop hiring new members to keep the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 crowd-free. I am looking forward to your kind reply regarding
this
 matter. Yours sincerely, Faisal
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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task achievement
Ensure you provide a detailed explanation of the issues with the changing rooms, offering clear and practical suggestions for improvements.
coherence cohesion
Make sure there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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