More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?
In recent years, there has been an increasing number of wild
animals
that are listed on the endangered list, with some of them going extinct. It is mainly because of the rising number of illegal hunting activities, and the loss of habitat due to
global warming. In order to solve the problem, there are several methods such
as increasing the patrol in active illegal hunting areas, and the promotion of practices that help to deal with global warming.
One major reason for more and more wild animals
facing extinction is that illegal hunting activities are growing in popularity. Endangered species such
as sharks and elephants have a high demand in the black market, because of their valuable parts such
as fins and tusks. Even with laws protecting them, illegal hunters continue to kill them for profit. Moreover
, global warming is destroying the habitat for some species such
as penguins and polar bears. The ice that they used to live on is now melting at the fastest rate in Earth's history. They lost the place to hunt and to repopulate, hence
facing extinction.
So as to address this
burning issue, one effective way is to increase the number of patrols done in active illegal hunting areas. Law enforcers have to visit those areas more often, even performing some checks during
midnight when a lot of illegal hunters take advantage of the darkness. Another method is to promote habits and practices that can help to deal with global warming. By simple acts Change preposition
at
such
as turning off lights when they are not used, we can reduce the use of energy which is mostly generated by fossil fuels. The amount of carbon dioxide that is
created during energy production can be reduced and hence
minimize the greenhouse effect.
In conclusion, illegal hunting and global warming are the major reasons for animals
becoming endangered and even facing extinction. In order to solve the problem, increasing patrol and promotion of eco-friendly practices are effective ways to help keep these animals
alive.Submitted by jackcityone on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, it's important to ensure your essay has clear and logical connections between ideas. Try to use varied linking words and develop your paragraphs with more detailed sentences that connect smoothly to one another. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make it more cohesive.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task and provided examples, which is good. However, to achieve a higher score in 'Task Achievement', you should aim to fully explore all parts of the prompt and provide a more thorough analysis or solutions. Make sure your examples are detailed enough to demonstrate a clear understanding of the issues and their possible resolutions.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite