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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #usa #food #restaurants #information #features #comparisons
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The graph provides information on the frequency of Americans visiting the unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 cafeteria in three years (2003, 2006, and 2013). The data reveals that most US
people
Use synonyms
 went there once a week. It can be seen that less than five
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of Americans
consume
Wrong verb form
consumed
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 fast
food
Use synonyms
 every day in 2003, 2006, and 2013.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2003, five
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of them admitted that they never went there, as did less than five
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of them in 2006 and 2013.
Moreover
Linking Words
, visiting the unhealthy cuisines cafeteria several times a week was only 17% of Americans in 2003, climbing to
Use synonyms
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
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 in 2003, and a slight fall in 2013.
Further
Linking Words
, they came to junk
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants a few times a year, less than 15% of them in 2003, and 15% in 2006 and 2013.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of the American
people
Use synonyms
 said that they visited the fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurant once a week in 2003, slightly increased in 2003 and modestly decreased in 2006. The numbers were almost similar with the USA citizens who went to that place once or twice
in
Change preposition
apply
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a month, with details: 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 in 2003,
Use synonyms
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 in 2006, and
Use synonyms
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
Submitted by tsabithaaida on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, people, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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