Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
is one thing that people must have on
this
Linking Words
day. They can be obtained by
learned
Change the form of the verb
learning
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it.
However
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, some people think that teaching children
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
punishing them is the best way
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
reward them when they show a good attitude.
Although
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they get
tortune
Correct your spelling
tortured
, they will educated
what
Change preposition
on what
show examples
they must
act great
Verb problem
do
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next time. When someone disciplined them, they thought what they
make
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made
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was a mistake, which
means
Wrong verb form
meant
show examples
they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
to correct it and did not do it anymore.
For instance
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, a boy drew his
father
Change noun form
father's
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shoes with a permanent marker
then
Linking Words
his father
sanction
Wrong verb form
sanctioned
show examples
him to write his mistake and the solution.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they regretted it, reviewed it and did not perform it later.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe that
grant
Wrong verb form
granting
show examples
children a bonus makes them addicted to being nice and wish to earn them an excellent role.
While
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they receive a profit, they will be happy and want to do it more and more to gain extra gifts.
For example
Linking Words
, a girl helps her mother prepare the table before their family eat dinner together,
through
Correct word choice
and through
show examples
that she wins an extra allowance.
Hence
Linking Words
, happiness brings the obsession of being positive continuously. In conclusion,
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Consider including a strong thesis statement in the introduction and summarizing main points in the conclusion to provide closure.
Logical Structure
Work on constructing a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Use cohesive devices like connecting words, and proper paragraphing to enhance readability.
Supported Main Points
Although your main points are somewhat supported, elaborate more on your ideas. Aim to develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and supporting details.
Complete Response
Your essay did not fully respond to the task. It's crucial to address all parts of the question and maintain a consistent position throughout the essay.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas further and ensure that each paragraph conveys a distinct point linked back to the main argument. Avoid vague statements and make your standpoint clear.
Relevant Specific Examples
Good use of examples, but ensure they are always directly relevant to the topic. Integrate them smoothly into your argument to support your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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