Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #children #attention #parents

Good

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is one thing that people must have on

this

day. They can be obtained by

learned

Change the form of the verb

learning

show examples

it.

However

, some people think that teaching children

with

Change preposition

show examples

punishing them is the best way

than

Change preposition

show examples

reward them when they show a good attitude.

Although

they get

tortune

Correct your spelling

tortured

, they will educated

what

Change preposition

on what

show examples

they must

act great

Verb problem

show examples

next time. When someone disciplined them, they thought what they

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

was a mistake, which

means

Wrong verb form

meant

show examples

they

need

Wrong verb form

needed

show examples

to correct it and did not do it anymore.

For instance

, a boy drew his

father

Change noun form

father's

show examples

shoes with a permanent marker

then

his father

sanction

Wrong verb form

sanctioned

show examples

him to write his mistake and the solution.

Consequently

, they regretted it, reviewed it and did not perform it later.

On the other hand

, some people believe that

grant

Wrong verb form

granting

show examples

children a bonus makes them addicted to being nice and wish to earn them an excellent role.

While

they receive a profit, they will be happy and want to do it more and more to gain extra gifts.

For example

, a girl helps her mother prepare the table before their family eat dinner together,

through

Correct word choice

and through

show examples

that she wins an extra allowance.

Hence

, happiness brings the obsession of being positive continuously. In conclusion,

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Introduction & Conclusion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Consider including a strong thesis statement in the introduction and summarizing main points in the conclusion to provide closure.

Logical Structure

Work on constructing a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Use cohesive devices like connecting words, and proper paragraphing to enhance readability.

Supported Main Points

Although your main points are somewhat supported, elaborate more on your ideas. Aim to develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and supporting details.

Complete Response

Your essay did not fully respond to the task. It's crucial to address all parts of the question and maintain a consistent position throughout the essay.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Clarify your ideas further and ensure that each paragraph conveys a distinct point linked back to the main argument. Avoid vague statements and make your standpoint clear.

Relevant Specific Examples

Good use of examples, but ensure they are always directly relevant to the topic. Integrate them smoothly into your argument to support your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

198 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people hold that children do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people think living in high-rise apartment blocks makes people feel longely and unhappy, while others argue it has advantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

In most countries, prison is the most common ~Solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it Could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some childeren spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a posetive or a negative development?