Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Nowadays, playing mobile-related
games
has risen in popularity, particularly among children and teenagers and many are of the opinion that it is genuinely beneficial as an educational instrument and harmless fun. Nevertheless
, others, including me, are believed
overplaying video Wrong verb form
believe
games
is having a devastating impact on children’ well-being.
On the one hand, in the
contemporary times, most people, especially youngsters and children, find playing video-related Correct article usage
apply
games
interesting and useful in their field of study at school. Now, we live in the modern world that
there are many mobile technologies and advanced devices Correct word choice
where
have
been used by individuals and employees to make more effort to enhance Correct pronoun usage
that have
quality
of their tasks and Add an article
the quality
stuffs
. Advancements in technology can assist children and students to do their homework more sufficiently and easily by playing computer-related Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
games
. While
they are playing these kinds of games
, they engage in critical and analytical thinking, thereby enhancing logical reasoning skills and they will have opportunity
to participate in international and national Olympiads.
Correct article usage
the opportunity
On the other hand
, overplaying mobile-related games
have
adverse effects on residents’ well-being, particularly on their eyes. These types of devices have already been Correct subject-verb agreement
has
integral
part of our lives and lifestyle. These days, the vast majority of citizens, youngsters and adolescents have some problems and difficulties seeing things Change the article
an integral
due to
prolonged screen time. A multitude of populace firmly believe that we can find out any information we need and we should know by using these gadgets, however
, never before have they considered its downsides, especially negative effect
on their eyes. Fix the agreement mistake
effects
This
is obviously because while
they are playing video games
, they have to spend most of their times
in front of the screen leading to potential eyesight deterioration. Fix the agreement mistake
time
Therefore
, I am convinced that playing computer or video-related games
is not good after all considering its drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
on
people’s health.
In conclusion, Change preposition
to
whereas
it is undeniable that it can have advantages, I maintain that the disadvantages seem promising to be beneficial.Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure clarity in the introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state the issue at hand and present a clear thesis statement on your stance. The conclusion should effectively summarize the key points discussed in the essay and restate your position clearly without introducing new information.
logical structure
Improve logical structuring by using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to signal the main idea. Transition smoothly between points and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. Each main point should relate clearly to the thesis and be developed fully. Avoid general statements and strive to provide concrete examples that directly illustrate your points.
complete response
Address all parts of the task by providing a balanced and well-developed argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of video games. Ensure that you respond to the essay prompt thoroughly by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks and providing a reasoned conclusion reflecting on these.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by elaborating on each point with detailed explanations and by maintaining relevance to the question throughout. Your essay should have a clear and sustained focus on the topic, with every paragraph contributing to your overarching argument.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples that directly relate to the impact of video games. This will help illustrate your points and add weight to your arguments. Authentic and personal examples, statistics, or findings from studies can be impactful.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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