IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods, either to find a job or to study. There are many benefits to doing this, but people living abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

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Travelling to a completely different country can have several positive or negative outcomes.
Nonetheless
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, in recent times, many
people
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 are leaving their homelands to other nations to start a new work or to enrol in universities. The advantages of
this
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 are
,
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 the opportunity to improve living conditions and the exposure to a new way of
life
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.
However
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,
this
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 can
also
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 have downsides like, estrangement of relationships and feelings of loneliness. It is possible to have access to a better standard of
life
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.
This
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 is because moving to a new place can mean access to everything good that exists there including the facilities which could surpass what lies back at home.
Also
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, it is possible to have enough cultural exposure by living and learning in a foreign condition .
This
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 is because when one is fully immersed in a new environment adaptation could result in the subconscious learning of how things are done.
For instance
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, after spending six years in Russia, I had
great
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a great
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 command of the language.
In contrast
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, it can hinder the relationships among family and friends.
This
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 is true because moving miles away from home
,
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 will make it almost impossible to always visit those we love and maintain contact, again there could
also
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 be the problem of time zones that could make it difficult to keep to scheduled calls.
In addition
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,
people
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 like
this
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,
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 can end up feeling alone because it takes some time to adapt and in that period where they are adjusting to
life
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 around, they may not have their usual support system of friends to make
life
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 more joyful. A perfect illustration was when I was in Russia, I fell into depression multiple times because I lived alone and was not used to it. In conclusion,the migration to a different country, can usher
people
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 into greener pastures and give them enough cultural exchange but on the downside, it could make close friends become strangers and could make
people
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 end up as loners in their new cities.

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cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and use of cohesive devices across all parts of your essay. While each paragraph presents a clear main idea, transitions between sentences could be improved for smoother flow. Consider using a range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
introduction/conclusion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present and reflect upon each other effectively. Your introduction sets up the topic well, but it could further engage with the specifics of the task. Your conclusion neatly summarises the main points, but strive to make it reflect back more directly on the question prompt.
task achievement
To score higher in task achievement, be sure to develop and support each point more thoroughly with detailed evidence or examples. While examples were provided, they are somewhat general. Explicitly illustrate your points with more specific and personal examples to enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
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