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Band 3.5

The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012.

#data #travellers #three #german #airports
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The table compares how many tourists visited three different airports from 2007 to 2012.
Overall
, there was an upward trend in all airports over the years. The figure for Frankfurt is the most visited airport rather than others.
However
, Dusseldorf experienced
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 in tourists. The Berlin Tegel remained more and less unchanged in the whole period.
To begin
 with, in 2007, there was a significant increase in Frankfurt airport with 36.5
billion
 travellers. The second place on the list was Dusseldorf which accounted for 27.2
billion
 users.
By contrast
, the index for Berlin Tegel was the smallest one in 17.3
billion
 individuals. The indication for Frankfurt witnessed a gradual rise until 2011 and reached a peak of 69.3
billion
 in 2012. In 2008, there was a slight growth in the figure for Dusseldorf with 36.4
billion
 and it decreased to 33.2
billion
 travellers in 2011. The index for Berlin Tegel stood at the same position between 2010 and 2012.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are adequately covered. The essay lacks a conclusion summarizing the main points.
Task Achievement
Ideas need to be explained and developed more thoroughly, with greater attention to specific data from the table.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. Make sure to organize information clearly, perhaps year by year or airport by airport.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction needs to be revised to accurately reflect the contents of the table and the main trends observed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphs more effectively to separate different points. Each airport's data and trends could be one paragraph each.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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