Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others however believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinon?

Some people consider that
,
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children
should be taught by
parents
to become
a good citizens
Correct the article-noun agreement
good citizens
a good citizen
show examples
while
others believe educational institutions are the best place to shape
children
's behaviour as a good person in social life. Though the latter perspective can be beneficial, I am fairly convinced the significance of family is more vulnerable than schools in
this
position. Schools can contribute to
children
's acceptable behaviour in several ways. Standardized methods, games and theories related to cognitive development are acceptable as an example. These methods may be useful to create various skills in order to make pupils a good part of society,
nevertheless
, school activities comprise only a small fraction of guidance to teach
children
to be
a reputable members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a reputable member
reputable members
show examples
of society.
Parents
,
moreover
, hold the most vital role in terms of teaching good citizens. As
children
are not allowed to school at an early age,
parents
may become a bridge between offspring and social life in their surroundings. Precisely,
parents
give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
guidance on how to behave among people, how to communicate with humans and the like, which is crucial to learn at very early ages of
children
. In conclusion,
although
schools are
also
significant to becoming a good member of society,
parents
take more responsibility and importance than educational organisations
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Task Achievement
The essay presents both views in a structured manner, but the development of ideas could be more comprehensive. To achieve a higher score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with more detailed explanations and more varied examples. Make sure that the response is not repetitive and that ideas are not overly general.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, but transitions between ideas should be smoother, and paragraphing needs to be clearer. Aim to have distinct paragraphs for each key point with a topic sentence, and use cohesive devices to guide the reader through the argument. Furthermore, work on varying sentence structures and linking phrases for a better flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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