In some countries young people have less leisure time and under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
It is clear that
the majority of young people have a
very little leisure time. I believe that every teenager Correct article usage
apply
have
their own reasons why they have less free time to relax,but most of them Change the verb form
has
happened
, because of family influence.
Every parent wants and wishes to see their child or Wrong verb form
happen
children
to
live happily and have a successful job. Change the verb form
apply
That is
why they make their kids to
study harder and spend hours every day giving them extra tuition. Change the verb form
apply
This
amount of pressure have
a very high Change the verb form
has
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
to be
the cause of depression or any other mental illnessChange preposition
of being
,
because Remove the comma
apply
children
are afraid to see the look with full disappointment
Change preposition
of disappointment
on
their Change preposition
in
parents
eyes.
The only solution to Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
this
problem is for the parents
to understand the effects of stress they give to their kids. Children
trust their parents
since the start of their birth and they are basically her/his idols. If they love their children
as much as they love them then
they should consider his/her dreams and opinion
. Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
For
example
if their daughter wants to become an artist Add a comma
example,
instead
of the
doctor, sane Correct article usage
a
parents
should respect and support her desicion
if it makes her happy.
In the Correct your spelling
decision
end
we can come to Add a comma
end,
a
conclusion that the Correct article usage
the
parents
should just talk calmly with their children
. It does not matter if they would be rich and famous or not, all that the
matters is their beloved Correct article usage
apply
children
's happiness.Submitted by dnm.best on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and preview the main ideas. Each body paragraph should contain a clear main idea with supporting details. The conclusion should summarize the points made in the essay without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately to help link ideas and paragraphs, such as conjunctions, discourse markers, and pronouns. Avoid overusing these devices and aim for variety in your language.
task achievement
Respond directly to the task prompt by giving a clear opinion or response and ensure your essay addresses all parts of the prompt. Develop your main ideas fully with examples and explanations to support your points.
task achievement
Provide clear and specific examples to support your ideas, ensuring they are relevant to the topic. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each example serves a purpose in supporting your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite