IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Last week, you celebrated your birthday with some friends in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed yourselves very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter mention the food and service explain that you really enjoyed the atmosphere suggest any improvements to make things better

#week #birthday #friends #restaurant #success #food #service #atmosphere #improvements
Dear Manager, I hope
this
 letter finds you in good health. My name is Dhruvil and I celebrated my birthday
last
 week with a group of 10 people at your restaurant. I am writing to thank you and your diligent team who made my birthday a remarkable occasion. It was
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 first time that we hosted a party at a restaurant. It was an amazing experience to celebrate my birthday with the same enjoyment which we may have at
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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home. The food was so delicious and it felt like we were eating in our home country. Cherry on the cake was that we
also
 had a fast service by your team. The atmosphere was so impressive; especially the floating balloons in the air.
In addition
, the restaurant staff had put their magnificent efforts
to decorate
Change preposition
into decorating
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 our party hall. Everything was perfect as per our expectations, but there was a minor problem with the communications. One of your
waiter
Change to a plural noun
waiters
show examples
 was struggling to understand what we were asking for because of the language barrier. He had a charismatic personality, just he needs some training as an improvement. Once again thank you very much for giving us a notable experience. Yours sincerely, Dhruvilkumar Patel
Submitted by rushsoni1998 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity. For example, separate the discussion of food and service from the mention of atmosphere and decorations.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, consider linking your paragraphs with transitional phrases that guide the reader through your narrative smoothly.
task achievement
While you've mentioned the food, service, and atmosphere, expanding on each with more detail would strengthen your task response. Include specific examples of dishes or aspects of the service that stood out.
task achievement
Your letter is well-constructed with an appropriate tone for the informal context. Keep maintaining a polite and friendly tone throughout.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exceptional service
  • culinary delights
  • intriguing ambiance
  • meticulous attention
  • flavorful concoctions
  • impeccable presentation
  • charming decor
  • ambient music
  • constructive feedback
  • vegetarian options
  • seating arrangement
  • heartfelt appreciation
  • wholeheartedly recommend
  • return visit
  • enhance the experience
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