IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #country #birth #people #australia #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
The pie chart depicts
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
 in
Australia
 who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 born in diverse countries and the table
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the number of city
dwellers
 and rural residents. 
According to
 the pie chart, it is seen that the vast majority of
population
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the population
show examples
 in
Australia
 consists of indigenous
people
 with 73%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all inhabitants. The second and the third positions are taken by
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 with 14% and 7%, respectively. The proportion of other countries where
Australia
's
dwellers
 were born
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 insignificant and varies from 1% to 3%.  Probing
further
 to the table,
similar
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the similar
a similar
show examples
 trend may be noticed as regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 country number of city
dwellers
 prevails over livers from rural areas equating to more than 80% and reaching 90%.
However
, china is an
exclusion
Correct your spelling
exception
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 as almost all
people
, 99% precisely, live in cities
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 9% more than in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
Australia
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, New Zealand and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
. The percentage of Chinese
people
 living in rural areas is the lowest
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
amounting to only 1%.
Overall
, Australian
people
forms
Correct subject-verb agreement
form
show examples
 the major part of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in
Australia
. What is more, a
tendancy
Correct your spelling
tendency
of living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 in cities is widespread in
Australia
 as the quantity of urban
dwellers
overcome
Correct subject-verb agreement
overcomes
show examples
 rural livers from all countries.
Submitted by dostoesckaya.annushka on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, dwellers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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