Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Developed
countries
should provide other types of help to the poor Use synonyms
countries
becauseUse synonyms
,
providing only financial aid is not sufficient for the poorer Remove the comma
apply
countries
to solve poverty. I agree with the statement and Use synonyms
this
essay provides you with the supporting ideas.
In my opinion, financial help is not the only thing to develop a poor Linking Words
country
. Well-developed Use synonyms
countries
often fund money to the poorer Use synonyms
countries
to develop the environment. Use synonyms
For example
, a recent study says that the rich Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
has
been funded Change the verb form
have
to
the poorer Change preposition
apply
countries
but, the development process Use synonyms
in
not used efficiently Correct your spelling
is
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
as
the government has Correct word choice
apply
being
using the funded amount for other purposes rather than developing the Change the verb form
been
country
and Use synonyms
this
leads to even worse than improving the poor Linking Words
country
. Use synonyms
This
is why rich Linking Words
countries
who are providing the amount should be able to implement the amount for good use rather than just giving money.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, financial support alone will not help the poorer Linking Words
countries
to solve poverty, as rich Use synonyms
countries
are well developed and equipped with Use synonyms
the
advanced technology, the poor Correct article usage
apply
countries
are even lacking Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
the
basic technology Correct article usage
apply
such
as Linking Words
internet
. Add an article
the internet
For instance
, a Linking Words
country
without Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
is lacking
so much Wrong verb form
lacks
of
knowledge and information on what's going on the earth Change preposition
apply
whereas
the rich Linking Words
countries
are even getting advanced technologies by Use synonyms
this
the rich Linking Words
countries
become Use synonyms
more
richer and the poor Change the word
apply
countries
remain poor. In my point of view, Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
countries
should invest in infrastructure and education with technology for free in poorer Use synonyms
countries
and guide them Use synonyms
how
to use these Change preposition
on how
equippments
.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that rich Correct your spelling
equipment
countries
should invest more Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
in
finacial
support to help the poorer Correct your spelling
financial
countries
gain poverty and by Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
the poorer Add a comma
this,
countries
will gain Use synonyms
little
bit of knowledge and slowly become a developed Add an article
a little
Use synonyms
country
.Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow and clear progression of ideas. There are elements of good structure, but some ideas jump abruptly from one to another without a smooth transition. Work on linking sentences and paragraphs more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea to be discussed in each paragraph. Support all arguments with more relevant examples and detailed explanations. Some general statements would benefit from specific evidence to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Stick closely to the topic throughout the essay. You have addressed the prompt, but it is important to expand on all aspects of the question and not veer off-topic. Provide a complete response by addressing both sides of the argument if required by the task.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and understandable, but aim for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic by examining different dimensions and implications of the issue. Avoid generalizations and strive to provide a nuanced perspective.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider variety of examples that are specific, accurately detailed and directly relevant to the topic. Examples should elucidate and support your main points while also demonstrating a clear understanding of the issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite