Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the sahara What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
Nowadays, many people have a trend to travel
significantly
Change preposition
to significantly
valuable
Correct quantifier usage
more valuable
places
around the world than before. However
, there are lot
of advantages and drawbacks Change the article
a lot
about
travel. In Change preposition
to
this
essay
I Add a comma
essay,
would
explore both sides of Wrong verb form
will
tourism
.
When turn
to major Change the verb form
turning
benifit
, Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
tourism
is the main inocme
for countries which will help to grow the economy. When Correct your spelling
income
trourism
rate is high countries have massive Correct your spelling
the tourism
froeign
income Correct your spelling
foreign
therefore
, governments can spend those money
Change the determiner
that money
for
Change preposition
on
citizon's
well-being and improve the infrastructure. Change noun form
citizens'
For example
, when COVID 19
time the Maldives' government struggled a Add a hyphen
COVID-19
lot
because they lost their travelers.
Moreover
, tourism
will be benifitial
for small businesses in the country and it will provide more jobs for the Correct your spelling
beneficial
citizons
. We can see many small shops and stores around the tourist attracted Correct your spelling
citizens
places
that they sell such
as hand craft
, Correct your spelling
handcraft
suverniors
and Correct your spelling
souvenirs
tradional
cloths. Those shoppers feed and take care Correct your spelling
traditional
their
kids and families Change preposition
of their
earns
from those shops.
Correct subject-verb agreement
earn
On the other hand
, due to
more tourist attraction
, some ancient Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
places
will destroy
. Some people Wrong verb form
be destroyed
does
not have Change the verb form
do
Correct article usage
the decipline
decipline
to save the Correct your spelling
discipline
palces
, they throw plastic and Correct your spelling
places
ploythine
Correct your spelling
polythene
plaything
every where
. Correct your spelling
everywhere
This
will badly affect for
the Change preposition
apply
enviroment
and the animals who are around the place. Correct your spelling
environment
Due to
these reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
citizons
will Correct your spelling
citizens
loose
their historically important Correct your spelling
lose
places
. For example
, Ella nine arch bridge
is the Correct your spelling
Nine Arch Bridge
msot famouse
place in Sri Lanka but when we go closer to that place we can see Correct your spelling
most famous
lot
of garbage around that. it will destroy the beauty and will harm Change the article
a lot
for
the environment.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
tourism
has lot
of pros and cons. Sometimes it will bring more Change the article
a lot
benifits
for Correct your spelling
benefits
country
Add an article
the country
while
it has some drawbacks. So, authorities can implement some polies
Correct your spelling
policies
for
Change preposition
to
save
those Change the verb form
saving
places
from drawbacks then
citizons
can improve their life via Correct your spelling
citizens
tourism
.Submitted by Sa.inaka on
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task achievement
The essay presents ideas on the benefits and disadvantages of tourism in difficult places, addressing both sides of the argument. Nevertheless, the response is somewhat general and could have benefitted from more specific and extended examples that directly relate to the difficulty of the conditions, such as the Sahara, as posed in the essay prompt. Further development of main points with clear examples that mirror the uniqueness of the topic would enhance the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
There is a basic logical structure evident in the essay, with separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages. However, the essay lacks a range of cohesive devices and contains some grammatical inaccuracies that hinder the reader's understanding. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened; the thesis in the introduction should more precisely preview the benefits and disadvantages discussed, and the conclusion should more explicitly summarize the key points made within the body. To boost the coherence and cohesion score, work on using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure that the flow of ideas from one sentence to another is seamless and clear.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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