Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the sahara What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #visit

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Nowadays, many people have a trend to travel

significantly

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to significantly

show examples

valuable

Correct quantifier usage

more valuable

show examples

places

Use synonyms

around the world than before.

However

Linking Words

, there are

Use synonyms

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of advantages and drawbacks

about

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show examples

travel. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

explore both sides of

tourism

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. When

turn

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turning

show examples

to major

benifit

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benefit

benefits

tourism

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is the main

inocme

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income

for countries which will help to grow the economy. When

trourism

Correct your spelling

the tourism

rate is high countries have massive

froeign

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foreign

income

therefore

Linking Words

, governments can spend

those money

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that money

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for

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show examples

citizon's

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citizens'

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well-being and improve the infrastructure.

For example

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, when

COVID 19

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COVID-19

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time the Maldives' government struggled a

lot

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because they lost their travelers.

Moreover

Linking Words

tourism

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will be

benifitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for small businesses in the country and it will provide more jobs for the

citizons

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citizens

. We can see many small shops and stores around the tourist attracted

places

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that they sell

such

Linking Words

hand craft

Correct your spelling

handcraft

show examples

suverniors

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souvenirs

and

tradional

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traditional

cloths. Those shoppers feed and take care

their

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of their

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kids and families

earns

Correct subject-verb agreement

earn

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from those shops.

On the other hand

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

more tourist

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

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, some ancient

places

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will

destroy

Wrong verb form

be destroyed

show examples

. Some people

does

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show examples

not have

Correct article usage

the decipline

show examples

decipline

Correct your spelling

discipline

to save the

palces

Correct your spelling

places

, they throw plastic and

ploythine

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polythene

plaything

every where

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everywhere

show examples

This

Linking Words

will badly affect

for

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apply

show examples

the

enviroment

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environment

and the animals who are around the place.

Due to

Linking Words

these

reasons

Add a comma

reasons,

show examples

citizons

Correct your spelling

citizens

will

loose

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lose

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their historically important

places

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For example

Linking Words

, Ella

nine arch bridge

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Nine Arch Bridge

show examples

is the

msot famouse

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most famous

place in Sri Lanka but when we go closer to that place we can see

Use synonyms

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of garbage around that. it will destroy the beauty and will harm

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the environment. In conclusion,

tourism

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has

Use synonyms

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of pros and cons. Sometimes it will bring more

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

for

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

while

Linking Words

it has some drawbacks. So, authorities can implement some

polies

Correct your spelling

policies

for

Change preposition

show examples

save

Change the verb form

saving

show examples

those

places

Use synonyms

from drawbacks

then

Linking Words

citizons

Correct your spelling

citizens

can improve their life via

tourism

Use synonyms

Submitted by Sa.inaka on Sat Dec 02 2023

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task achievement

The essay presents ideas on the benefits and disadvantages of tourism in difficult places, addressing both sides of the argument. Nevertheless, the response is somewhat general and could have benefitted from more specific and extended examples that directly relate to the difficulty of the conditions, such as the Sahara, as posed in the essay prompt. Further development of main points with clear examples that mirror the uniqueness of the topic would enhance the task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

There is a basic logical structure evident in the essay, with separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages. However, the essay lacks a range of cohesive devices and contains some grammatical inaccuracies that hinder the reader's understanding. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened; the thesis in the introduction should more precisely preview the benefits and disadvantages discussed, and the conclusion should more explicitly summarize the key points made within the body. To boost the coherence and cohesion score, work on using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure that the flow of ideas from one sentence to another is seamless and clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unique natural beauty
sense of achievement
personal growth
resilience
survival skills
local cultures
extreme temperatures
limited access
physical exhaustion
high costs
specialized gear
guided tours
insurance premiums
environmental impact
fragile ecosystems
pollution
habitat disruption

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Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the sahara What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Fully explain your ideas

4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Scientists agree that people are harming their health by eating too much fat food. Some people think that the solution to this problem is to make people aware of the problems. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The two picture illustrates the changes in Stockford City in 1986 and present time. Summarize the key points and make comparison.