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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

All cars that burns fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them do you agree or disagree?

#cars #burns #fuels
All vehicles that
use
fuels
 should be banned and fully electric
cars
 should
be
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
use
 in place of them.In
this
 essay,I will explain both views and give my opinion with arguments.
First
 of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 look at
first
 view that most of transport
use
 fossil
fuels
 should banned.The
first
 point which
favour
Change the verb form
favours
show examples
this
 stance is that these type of
cars
 are dangerous to the environment.
Moreover
,it is
genrally
Correct your spelling
generally
 believed that smoke which is
produed
Correct your spelling
produced
 by vehicles.Smoke disturbed our
ecosytem
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
 badly.So,all
cars
use
Correct pronoun usage
that use
show examples
fuels
 should be banned.The second reason which
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
this
 view is that
fuels
 are
Add an article
a non
show examples
non renewable
Add a hyphen
non-renewable
show examples
 source.
Due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 uses of fuel in
engines
Correct article usage
the engines
show examples
 of
cars
, the source depleted at
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
 faster pace
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 it should be.So, all
cars
 should be banned that
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 fossil
fuels
.
On the other hand
, electric
cars
 should replace them. The
first
 ground which
oppose
Change the verb form
opposes
show examples
this
 view is electric
cars
 are too expensive.
Furthermore
, it is considered that not all people can purchase EV
cars
.If only these types of
cars
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 available to
use
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it
effect
Replace the word
affect
show examples
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 public badly.They can not go
where ever
Correct your spelling
wherever
show examples
 they want. So,it is not fully acceptable at
this
 time.The second argument which
oppose
Change the verb form
opposes
show examples
this
 statement is unawareness of its
use
.It is
beleived
Correct your spelling
believed
 that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 is still not ready to face
this
 kind of technology
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
 in developing countries.
Hence
 it is not possible at
this
 time. In conclusion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all vehicles that
use
fuels
 should be banned (dangerous to the environment and
fuels
 are
non renewable
Add a hyphen
non-renewable
show examples
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
) and fully electric
cars
 should
be
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
use
 in place of them(electric
cars
 are too expensive and
unawareness
Replace the word
unaware
show examples
 of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
use
.I disagree with
this
 statement.
Submitted by jamalashraf45 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, consider structuring your essay in a more organized manner. Begin with an introduction that clearly states your thesis and provides an outline of the points you will discuss. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central topic, and use transitional phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. Additionally, pay attention to spelling and grammatical structure, as errors in these areas can disrupt the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, your response should address all parts of the task. Ensure that you present a clear opinion and that this opinion is sustained throughout the response. Provide a balanced discussion of both views with clear, comprehensive ideas and reasons. Integrate specific examples that are relevant to the argument to make the essay more convincing. Address your points in a way that is directly relevant to the main topic and contribute effectively to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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