Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that films and computer
games
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containing violence have become increasingly popular. Some
people
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argue that
such
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content
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has negative effects on society and should be banned,
while
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others believe that it is harmless and can even help
people
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relax. In
this
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essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives. Those who support banning violent
content
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provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most apparent reasons is that exposure to violence may influence behaviour, particularly among young
people
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. To illustrate, repeated exposure to aggressive scenes can normalise violent actions and reduce sensitivity to real-life consequences.
For instance
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, children who frequently play violent
games
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may imitate
such
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behaviour or develop aggressive attitudes.
In addition
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, excessive consumption of violent media may contribute to fear, anxiety, and social problems. Those who disagree with the above idea
also
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have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that violent films and
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can serve as a form of entertainment and stress relief. To clarify, many individuals are able to distinguish between fiction and reality and use these forms of media to relax after a long day.
For example
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, adults may enjoy action films or
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without any negative impact on their behaviour.
Furthermore
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, strict regulation rather than complete prohibition can allow
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to enjoy
such
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content
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responsibly. To recapitulate, it is evident that violent media may have negative effects, especially on younger audiences,
while
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it can
also
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provide entertainment and relaxation for others. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that banning
such
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content
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is not necessary, but appropriate regulation and guidance are essential to minimise potential harm.

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task response
For task response: You answer all parts of the question and give your own view. To get a higher score, add one more clear reason for your opinion in the last body part or the end.
task response
For task response: Your ideas are clear, but some parts are a bit general. Try to explain how and why violent media affects people in more detail.
task response
For task response: Your examples are relevant, but they are still quite common. Use a more specific example to make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion. This is very good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your linking words are used well, but some are a little formal and repeated. You can use simpler links sometimes, like 'also', 'so', or 'because'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea, but some support is short. Add one more sentence to develop each main point more fully.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a logical order, so the essay is easy to follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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