IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

#people #cities #search #life #city #difficulties #governments
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Cities are often seen as places of opportunities for
majority
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the majority
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 of people.
However
, there are some drawbacks
of
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to
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 living in
metropolis
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a metropolis
the metropolis
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. I am of the opinion that governments take more actions to improve the quality of
life
 for the average inhabitants. On the one hand, there are primary challenges people face in urban areas.
Firstly
, the cost of living  is higher as opposed to
villages'
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villages
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. For
instnace
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instance
, inhabitants of cities have to spend more money on housing, transport and even food, which can lead to the deterioration of their
life
.
Secondly
,
a
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apply
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high crime and poverty rates may be taken into consideration in terms of social problems for individuals.
Finally
, air quality is known as another major issue
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that come
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come
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comes
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 from private cars and overcrowding is caused by the vast number of people, which can bring
such
 health problems as
unhealthines
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unhealthiness
 and stress among city dwellers.
On the other hand
, these troubles are more likely to be
takled
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tackled
 by governments. They can invest funds in housing to reduce the cost of living, which may
enhace
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enhance
 the
life
 of
urban
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the urban
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 population.
Furthermore
, authorities have
a
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the
show examples
 power to ban vehicles emitting exhaust fumes and promote the usage of public
transportations
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transportation
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 in order to eliminate
the
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apply
show examples
air pollution and traffic congestion. As a great example, we can take London city which imposed a congestion charge for cars and achieved a tranquil
life
.
Moreover
, villages should be developed and industrialized with the contribution of officials to reduce the pressure on major cities.
To conclude
, governments can implement a variety of measures  to make a huge difference
on
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for
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 city residents for the better.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and ensure that the main ideas are well-supported by specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction includes a thesis statement outlining the issues to be discussed, and provide a clearer, more definitive conclusion to summarize your points.
task achievement
Work on providing a more complete response to the prompt by addressing both the difficulties of living in a city and government measures in more detail and with more specific examples.
task achievement
To better showcase clear and comprehensive ideas, be sure to fully expand upon your points and develop them further with detail.
task achievement
Examples provided should be more specific and relevant to the point being made. Avoid vague or general statements and illustrate your arguments with precise information.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolis
  • Rapid urban growth
  • Megacity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Housing affordability
  • Infrastructure development
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Noise pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Job market
  • Social cohesion
  • Community engagement
  • Safety measures
  • Crime prevention
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