IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

nowadays many young people use social media do the advantages outweigh disadvantages

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In a society of technology, it is not difficult to
use
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 networking, especially
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youngsters
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for youngsters
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. In my point of view, there are more benefits outweigh
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
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 and
this
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 essay will discuss the reasons. The development of technology
makes
Verb problem
creates
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 chances for young people to
use
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 social networking without any knowledge of protection themselves.
Firstly
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, there are many scammers on these types of digital platforms that juveniles do not know how to avoid them.
As a result
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, they can deal with dangerous situations
such
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 as loss of money.
Moreover
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, because of
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the acknowledge
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acknowledge
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acknowledgement
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 of
this
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 social networking platform,
youngsters
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 might upload their personal information public by chance.
Therefore
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, their real life can be in danger, and scammers can
use
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this
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 information to do illegal work. For these reasons, until
youngsters
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 are prepared with enough knowledge to protect themselves on
this
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 platform, parents should not allow them to
use
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 it.
However
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, teenagers have permission to
use
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 technological devices because of their variety of benefits. First of all, social media brings children a large source of relationships from the whole world. To
further
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 explain, because of the connections around the world,
youngsters
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 can make friends in other nations and improve their relationships.
Moreover
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, they can exchange their national cultures with their friends,
therefore
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 not only their knowledge is improved but
also
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 their cultures are shared with people in the other nations.
Finally
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, more and more
youngsters
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 are learning foreign languages. For that reason, if they can contact local people through social networking and talk with them regularly, their ability
of
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to
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 language will increase significantly. Because of these reasons, using social networking brings
youngsters
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 many opportunities to mature and improve themselves. In conclusion, allowing juveniles to
use
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 social networks early will have both negative and positive effects.
However
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, in my opinion, it brings more benefits than drawbacks to them.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear logical structure throughout your essay. The body paragraphs should be organized clearly, with topic sentences introducing the main idea and subsequent sentences expanding on that idea with examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Include both introduction and conclusion, making sure they serve their purpose. The introduction must paraphrase the question and outline the main points of the essay, while the conclusion should summarize the discussion and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and reasons. Your ideas should be clearly linked to each other and the question, but they should also be expanded upon with concrete examples.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are adequately covered. Your essay should respond to all parts of the question with developed ideas and examples.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid overgeneralizations or unclear statements. Make sure each paragraph conveys a clear idea, supported by evidence or analysis.
task achievement
Employ relevant, specific examples to strengthen your essay. Instead of making vague statements, illustrate your points with clear examples from real-life situations or hypothetical scenarios.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Knowledge sharing
  • Social engagement
  • Digital marketing
  • Networking opportunities
  • Cybersecurity
  • Online privacy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social awareness
  • Echo chamber effect
  • Information overload
  • Digital footprint
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