IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Q People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#q #people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people have
no
Correct your spelling
not
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consideration
Replace the word
considered
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to stay
Change the verb form
staying
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 anywhere since technology and transportation have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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grown in advance.
Beside of
Change preposition
Besides
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 its
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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, I strongly believe it will cause more drawbacks than
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
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.
Correct pronoun usage
ones.
show examples
 On the one hand,
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 creates an opportunity for
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 to
any
Add a missing verb
do any
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job
Use synonyms
 like
remote
Add an article
a remote
the remote
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job
Use synonyms
 which they can
work
Use synonyms
 from anywhere. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, workers will use the advance of technology to
keep
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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good communication with others that can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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come from around the world.
This
Linking Words
 improvement can be a great thing for the workers to expand their networking and get into a
job
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 that they
are interest
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are interested
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 in.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having a home
that is
Linking Words
 separate
away
Rephrase
apply
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from their
work
Use synonyms
 office possibly
wasting
Wrong verb form
wastes
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 money and time as if they
work
Use synonyms
 from
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can happen because people need to pay for the vehicle that helps
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 to move from one to another place. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
, more time is wasted on a long trip
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
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 it can be replaced by another beneficial thing to do
instead
Linking Words
 of riding or
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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at
Correct your spelling
a
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passanger
Correct your spelling
passenger
 position in transportation.
To sum up
Linking Words
, having a house and
work
Use synonyms
 place that are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 can
be
Verb problem
have
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 a good and bad effect simultaneously and its
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 outweigh its
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it depends on what type of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 it is.
Submitted by joyapakpahan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence and should follow a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Work on developing ideas fully. Each main idea should be explained and supported with specific examples or explanations. Avoid general statements without concrete evidence.
task achievement
Pay close attention to the prompt and ensure that both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages) are addressed adequately before reaching a reasoned conclusion. In your conclusion, summarize the main points to reiterate your position.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions by using cohesive devices to link ideas, sentences, and paragraphs. This helps the reader to understand the relationship between ideas and follow the argument more easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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