The graph below shows the consumption of four types of dairy products in yhe USA f4om 1970 t9 2010
The graph illustrates how
much
four different types of products were consumed in the USA Correct quantifier usage
many
f4om
1970 to 2010.
Correct your spelling
from
Overall
, it is clear that
consuming
of Replace the word
the consumption
cheese
increased considerable
Change the adjective
considerably
while
consuming
of yogurt Replace the word
the consumption
was risen
practically in the USA between 1970 and 2010. Change to the active voice
rose
In
addition
eating Add a comma
addition,
of
Full-fat Change preposition
apply
ice
cream
and Low fat
Add a hyphen
Low-fat
ice
cream
was inconspicuously
between 1970 and 2010.
Looking in detail, in 1970 Change the word
inconspicuous
cheese
was eaten aproximately
7 Correct your spelling
approximately
pounds
per person while
yogurt
was Change the spelling
yoghurt
noy
consumed by Correct your spelling
not
Anerican
people. After 40 years, consuming Correct your spelling
American
of
Change preposition
apply
cheese
was
grown about triple Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct article usage
the pounds
pounds
per person as American people began to eat Fix the agreement mistake
pound
yogurt
around 9 Change the spelling
yoghurt
pounds
by 2010. This
made more than the initual
form level from 1970 to 2010.
Correct your spelling
initial
Furthemore
, the Correct your spelling
Furthermore
full fat
Add a hyphen
full-fat
ice
cream
was the group with the highest amount in 1970, about 11 pounds
. However
, this
started to fall steadily and was overtaken by cheese
10 pounds
. This
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
ice
cream
is less consumed than other products. Over 40 years, there was a minimal change and it was still at 4 pounds
.Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cheese, ice, cream, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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