The graph below shows the consumption of four types of dairy products in yhe USA f4om 1970 t9 2010

The graph below shows the consumption of four types of dairy products in yhe USA f4om 1970 t9 2010
The graph illustrates how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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four different types of products were consumed in the USA
f4om
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from
1970 to 2010.
Overall
,
it is clear that
consuming
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the consumption
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of
cheese
increased
considerable
Change the adjective
considerably
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while
consuming
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the consumption
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of yogurt
was risen
Change to the active voice
rose
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practically in the USA between 1970 and 2010.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
eating
of
Change preposition
apply
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Full-fat
ice
cream
and
Low fat
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Low-fat
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ice
cream
was
inconspicuously
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inconspicuous
show examples
between 1970 and 2010. Looking in detail, in 1970
cheese
was eaten
aproximately
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approximately
7
pounds
per person
while
yogurt
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yoghurt
show examples
was
noy
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not
consumed by
Anerican
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American
people. After 40 years, consuming
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cheese
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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grown about triple
Correct article usage
the pounds
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pounds
Fix the agreement mistake
pound
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per person as American people began to eat
yogurt
Change the spelling
yoghurt
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around 9
pounds
by 2010.
This
made more than the
initual
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initial
form level from 1970 to 2010.
Furthemore
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Furthermore
, the
full fat
Add a hyphen
full-fat
show examples
ice
cream
was the group with the highest amount in 1970, about 11
pounds
.
However
,
this
started to fall steadily and was overtaken by
cheese
10
pounds
.
This
low fat
Add a hyphen
low-fat
show examples
ice
cream
is less consumed than other products. Over 40 years, there was a minimal change and it was still at 4
pounds
.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words cheese, ice, cream, pounds with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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