The graph below shows the consumption of four types of dairy products in yhe USA f4om 1970 t9 2010

#consumption #four #dairy #products #yhe #usa #f #om

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The graph illustrates how

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

four different types of products were consumed in the USA

f4om

Correct your spelling

from

1970 to 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

consuming

Replace the word

the consumption

show examples

cheese

Use synonyms

increased

considerable

Change the adjective

considerably

show examples

while

Linking Words

consuming

Replace the word

the consumption

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of yogurt

was risen

Change to the active voice

rose

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practically in the USA between 1970 and 2010.

Linking Words

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

eating

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Full-fat

ice

Use synonyms

cream

Use synonyms

and

Low fat

Add a hyphen

Low-fat

show examples

ice

Use synonyms

cream

Use synonyms

was

inconspicuously

Change the word

inconspicuous

show examples

between 1970 and 2010. Looking in detail, in 1970

cheese

Use synonyms

was eaten

aproximately

Correct your spelling

approximately

pounds

Use synonyms

per person

while

Linking Words

yogurt

Change the spelling

yoghurt

show examples

was

noy

Correct your spelling

not

consumed by

Anerican

Correct your spelling

American

people. After 40 years, consuming

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cheese

Use synonyms

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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grown about triple

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the pounds

show examples

pounds

Fix the agreement mistake

pound

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per person as American people began to eat

yogurt

Change the spelling

yoghurt

show examples

around 9

pounds

Use synonyms

by 2010.

This

Linking Words

made more than the

initual

Correct your spelling

initial

form level from 1970 to 2010.

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the

full fat

Add a hyphen

full-fat

show examples

ice

Use synonyms

cream

Use synonyms

was the group with the highest amount in 1970, about 11

pounds

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

started to fall steadily and was overtaken by

cheese

Use synonyms

pounds

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

low fat

Add a hyphen

low-fat

show examples

ice

Use synonyms

cream

Use synonyms

is less consumed than other products. Over 40 years, there was a minimal change and it was still at 4

pounds

Use synonyms

Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on Sat Dec 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words cheese, ice, cream, pounds with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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The graph below shows the consumption of four types of dairy products in yhe USA f4om 1970 t9 2010

Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making they do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the ad vanatges of owning a smartphone putweigh the disadvantages

Many people today find they have insufficient time to spend with their families, because of pressures of work. What problems does this create for individuals and their families? What solutions can you propose? Which would be the most effective solution, in your view?