People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is ongoing
dabate
Correct your spelling
debate
regarding whether
advertisements
would be detrimental to the
populance
Correct your spelling
populace
. Some adopt and adapt them to address their issues in daily life,
while
others consider
advertisements
as annoying items. In
this
highly materialistic society, it is obvious that there are plenty of
advertisements
invading our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. From my perspective, I would regard them as the convenient channel which can fix the adversity.
For instance
, there are tons of products like tools, phones and food. People tend to choose the brand with remarkable popularity in case of the quality. It is
apperant
Correct your spelling
apparent
that the brand with bigger customer group usually
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the higher reaching rate contributed by their advertisement posting. With the
widespeard
Correct your spelling
widespread
availability of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
, people surf online
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. It
is believe
Change the verb form
is believed
show examples
that advertisement could be anywhere.
However
,
this
situation only
disturb
Change the verb form
disturbs
show examples
people in some particular scenario.
For example
, when we enjoy films on some streaming platforms, we often encounter the issue that
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
disrupt our watching experience. Virtually,
this
kind of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problem can be easily addressed in a cyber way like using
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
ad blocker which can
be install
Change the verb form
be installed
show examples
by following the simple tutorial. In conclusion, it is evident that
advertisements
have the potential to be utilized in the proper way. As my statement, their negative aspect can be solved
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
other methods.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, your essay should have a clear and distinct progression of ideas. Start by introducing the topic, then develop your arguments with supporting ideas sequentially, ensuring each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. This linkage is crucial for the reader to follow your line of reasoning, and missing this can detract from the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure an introduction and conclusion are both present and adequately developed. The introduction should present the topic and, if possible, your thesis or main idea. The conclusion should summarize the main points briefly and restate your position if applicable. Both elements were not entirely effective in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. Abstract arguments should be grounded in concrete instances that illustrate your points convincingly. The examples you used were either too vague or not directly connected to the argument, which can undermine your essay's effectiveness.
task achievement
Your essay should fully address the task by providing a clear response to the prompt, developing your position throughout the essay, and reaching a substantiated conclusion. It appears you may have misunderstood the task or went off the topic. Make sure to keep your response directly relevant to the question asked.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear and comprehensive. Focus on explaining your main ideas thoroughly, so they are easily understood, and make sure there is no ambiguity in your argument. Aim for clarity in every paragraph.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. Your essay lacked specificity in examples, weakening your argument. To improve, include examples that are directly relevant to the prompt and use them to illustrate your main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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