People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #kinds #effect #people’s #lives

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There is ongoing

dabate

Correct your spelling

debate

regarding whether

advertisements

would be detrimental to the

populance

Correct your spelling

populace

. Some adopt and adapt them to address their issues in daily life,

while

others consider

advertisements

as annoying items. In

this

highly materialistic society, it is obvious that there are plenty of

advertisements

invading our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. From my perspective, I would regard them as the convenient channel which can fix the adversity.

For instance

, there are tons of products like tools, phones and food. People tend to choose the brand with remarkable popularity in case of the quality. It is

apperant

Correct your spelling

apparent

that the brand with bigger customer group usually

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the higher reaching rate contributed by their advertisement posting. With the

widespeard

Correct your spelling

widespread

availability of

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

, people surf online

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. It

is believe

Change the verb form

is believed

show examples

that advertisement could be anywhere.

However

this

situation only

disturb

Change the verb form

disturbs

show examples

people in some particular scenario.

For example

, when we enjoy films on some streaming platforms, we often encounter the issue that

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

disrupt our watching experience. Virtually,

this

kind of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problem can be easily addressed in a cyber way like using

the

Correct article usage

show examples

ad blocker which can

be install

Change the verb form

be installed

show examples

by following the simple tutorial. In conclusion, it is evident that

advertisements

have the potential to be utilized in the proper way. As my statement, their negative aspect can be solved

Change preposition

with

show examples

other methods.

Submitted by seanlin12345 on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

To enhance logical structure, your essay should have a clear and distinct progression of ideas. Start by introducing the topic, then develop your arguments with supporting ideas sequentially, ensuring each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. This linkage is crucial for the reader to follow your line of reasoning, and missing this can detract from the overall coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure an introduction and conclusion are both present and adequately developed. The introduction should present the topic and, if possible, your thesis or main idea. The conclusion should summarize the main points briefly and restate your position if applicable. Both elements were not entirely effective in your essay.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. Abstract arguments should be grounded in concrete instances that illustrate your points convincingly. The examples you used were either too vague or not directly connected to the argument, which can undermine your essay's effectiveness.

task achievement

Your essay should fully address the task by providing a clear response to the prompt, developing your position throughout the essay, and reaching a substantiated conclusion. It appears you may have misunderstood the task or went off the topic. Make sure to keep your response directly relevant to the question asked.

task achievement

Ideas should be clear and comprehensive. Focus on explaining your main ideas thoroughly, so they are easily understood, and make sure there is no ambiguity in your argument. Aim for clarity in every paragraph.

task achievement

Use a range of relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. Your essay lacked specificity in examples, weakening your argument. To improve, include examples that are directly relevant to the prompt and use them to illustrate your main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

218 words

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People are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Some people believe that advertising has a negative effect on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products shall be made more expensive to encourage people to cunsume less sugar Do you agree or disagree?

‘Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

In some countries, students while studying lived away from home. Do you think the advantage outweigh disadvantage?