These days, many children in western countries are obese. What are the causes and solutions to this problem?

One of the most controversial questions that sparks arguments throughout communities causing many people to wonder why most
children
in
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries
fall into
obesity
.
This
essay will be going through the causes and ways to fix
this
physical health problem for current
children
and for future
children
aswell
Correct your spelling
as well
. There are many ways for
children
to easily get obese
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries
and some of these reasons would be from the easily accessible fast-food restaurants that these
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
own. There are thousands of junk food choices that could and probably will suit your preference especially when these companies advertise their menus mainly concentrating on kids.
Furthermore
, western
countries
tend to have much larger
aisles
in their supermarket that contain harmful products that could easily attract kids
such
as sweets and chocolates, soft drinks, processed foods, etc. These junk foods usually have over 200+ calories and since
children
of
this
generation barely get any exercise
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their day-to-day
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
calories that they accumulate will stack up and eventually cause
obesity
. Moving on, it’s time to cover the solutions to lower
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the chances for
children
to get
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
, and starting it off would be the
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
choices on their supermarket
aisles
(mainly junk
aisles
) they should limit the size of each aisle so there wouldn’t be much to choose from since
children
like a variety of things making these
aisles
smaller would definitely help
children
and even adults to improve on their
obesity
crisis. Another solution would be the most important solution of them all and
that is
exercise, parents could sign their
children
to
Change preposition
up for
show examples
a certain sport for them to practice on a daily basis which could go far in their weight loss journey. In conclusion, there are many effective ways for
children
to lose weight and become healthy once again, it might be a long process but with hard
word
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
and dedication eventually it will be possible
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
with the help and motivation from parents to their
children
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your main argument. Use a thesis statement at the end of the introduction.
Coherence
Improve coherence by organizing ideas more logically and using cohesive devices effectively.
Main Points
Make sure each paragraph centers on a single main idea supported by specific details or examples.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task by fully covering causes and solutions to the problem of childhood obesity.
Examples
Provide more specific, detailed examples to strengthen the argument and illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Processed foods
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Nutrition
  • Caloric intake
  • Metabolic disorders
  • Physical activity
  • Health education
  • Dietary habits
  • Food marketing
  • Convenience foods
  • Health initiatives
  • Preventative measures
  • Body mass index (BMI)
  • Public health crisis
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Healthy eating
  • Exercise regimen
  • Wellness programs
  • Social stigma
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