IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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There are a number of
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 who
beleive
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believe
 that teaching lessons which cause
kisds
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kids
 to grow as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
memeber
Correct your spelling
members
 of their country is the
parents
Use synonyms
' responsibility whilst others' perspective is that
children
Use synonyms
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
learnt
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
this
Linking Words
 at school. As
children
Use synonyms
 spend much time at school and with their family, both of them play
integral
Add an article
an integral
show examples
 role in raising youngsters. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both views and give my opinion.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
parents
Use synonyms
 have influenced
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their offspring from being toddlers to becoming a
matture
Correct your spelling
mature
person
Use synonyms
. So that,
children
Use synonyms
 can be brought up as a
beneficilal
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 individuals in society by their mothers and fathers.
Parents
Use synonyms
 can teach them by themselves behaviours
practicaly
Correct your spelling
practically
 since they imitate their
families
Change noun form
family's
families'
show examples
 attitudes and follow their manners to others.
For example
Linking Words
, helping elderly people or being polite.
Thus
Linking Words
, fathers and mothers are a significant and efficient pattern for their
children
Use synonyms
 to become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excellent
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, students should be taught the advantages of being a positive
person
Use synonyms
 in their country and even in the world and
Correct article usage
the disadvatages
show examples
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of being a negative
person
Use synonyms
 through theoretical and practical lessons.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can learn discipline by doing their homework and duties on time
as well as
Linking Words
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 up
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 older people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, schools as a small society should consider rewards for teenagers who are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 to encourage other students. In conclusion, In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 both
parents
Use synonyms
 and schools have impacted
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kids
noticably
Correct your spelling
noticeably
.
parensts
Correct your spelling
Parents
 are their offspring patterns before they
bacome
Correct your spelling
become
 mature and they do whatever their families and relevant do. so they are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
effective teachers to
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
 them
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
 a good
person
Use synonyms
 in the future.
Likewise
Linking Words
, schools and
trainors
Correct your spelling
trainers
 are essential environments and sources to develop and raise
kids'
Change noun form
kids
show examples
 in a positive way.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent and accurate use of tenses throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more naturally and enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Focus on the clarity of your main points and provide more detailed support for your arguments.
task achievement
Address the task directly throughout your essay with a clear position while discussing both views thoroughly before stating your opinion.
task achievement
Clarify and develop each point with comprehensive ideas and support them with relevant, specific examples.
task achievement
Use paragraphs to structure your essay effectively, and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with relevant support.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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