Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There is no doubt that
thses
days Correct your spelling
these
zoos
doesn’t
have crucial values and decreased Change the verb form
don’t
zoos
places in many areas. The question is, why Fix the agreement mistake
zoo
zoos
became
inactive Wrong verb form
become
nowdys
? Many Correct your spelling
nowadays
people
thoughts that it is beneficial for zoos
have no
useful Verb problem
but are not
while
othere
Correct your spelling
other
people
believe that zoos
are advantages
in many ways. In Replace the word
advantageous
this
essay
I am going to Add a comma
essay,
dicuss
both Correct your spelling
discuss
opinion
and draw Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
own
conclusion.
In terms of benefits Correct pronoun usage
my own
of
Change preposition
apply
zoos
are very important to save
endangered Wrong verb form
saving
animals
also
a lot of species animals
might me extinct in the near future so Change preposition
of animals
the
Correct article usage
apply
zoos
are the best place to save and nurture them on other
hand numerous Correct article usage
the other
of
children want to take look and definition about Change preposition
apply
animals
also
knowledge there names by their eye also
they van feeding them . The main reason give
to support Change the form of the verb
given
this
claim is that animals
can be save
in the Change the verb form
be saved
zoos
place than more that , many people
visits
Change the verb form
visit
zoos
to explore animals
.to
illustrate, students visit Correct your spelling
To
zoos
for an assignment and experiments. In other words
, zoos
are beneficial in Correct your spelling
different
diffrent
ways and it is useful for many Correct your spelling
different
people
and country
In conclusion , although
many people
believe that zoos
are have
no advantages I insist you can visit Change the verb form
have
zoos
and you will find endangered animals
.Submitted by luhana.chii on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and do not address the prompt effectively. Ensure you have a clear thesis statement and summarized conclusions that restate your main points.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of the argument is weak, with ideas presented in a confusing way. Aim for a clear progression of ideas and use paragraphs effectively to separate points.
Supporting Main Points
Main points should be clearly supported with specific examples and well-developed ideas. It's necessary to expand on your points and clearly relate them to the topic with relevant examples and explanations.
Task Response
While you presented an answer to the topic, it was done so in a way that fails to fully develop a clear argument. Work on providing comprehensive responses with developed ideas and directly answer all parts of the task.
Ideas Clarity and Expression
Your essay lacks clarity and the expression of ideas is hard to follow. Strive to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can help achieve this.
Relevant Examples
Your essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support your points. It is vital to provide concrete examples that are directly related to the topic to improve the depth of your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.