Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There is no doubt that
thses
Correct your spelling
these
days
zoos
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doesn’t
Change the verb form
don’t
show examples
have crucial values and decreased
Use synonyms
zoos
Fix the agreement mistake
zoo
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places in many areas. The question is, why
zoos
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became
Wrong verb form
become
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inactive
nowdys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
? Many
people
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thoughts that it is beneficial for
zoos
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have no
Verb problem
but are not
show examples
useful
while
Linking Words
othere
Correct your spelling
other
people
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believe that
zoos
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are
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
in many ways. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I am going to
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
both
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
and draw
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
conclusion. In terms of benefits
of
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apply
show examples
zoos
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are very important to
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
endangered
animals
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also
Linking Words
a lot of species
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animals
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of animals
show examples
might me extinct in the near future so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
are the best place to save and nurture them on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand numerous
of
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apply
show examples
children want to take look and definition about
animals
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also
Linking Words
knowledge there names by their eye
also
Linking Words
they van feeding them . The main reason
give
Change the form of the verb
given
show examples
to support
this
Linking Words
claim is that
animals
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can
be save
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be saved
show examples
in the
zoos
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place than more that , many
people
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visits
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visit
show examples
zoos
Use synonyms
to explore
animals
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.to
Correct your spelling
To
illustrate, students visit
zoos
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for an assignment and experiments.
In other words
Linking Words
,
zoos
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are beneficial in
Correct your spelling
different
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
ways and it is useful for many
people
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and country In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
many
people
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believe that
zoos
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are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
no advantages I insist you can visit
zoos
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and you will find endangered
animals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by luhana.chii on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and do not address the prompt effectively. Ensure you have a clear thesis statement and summarized conclusions that restate your main points.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of the argument is weak, with ideas presented in a confusing way. Aim for a clear progression of ideas and use paragraphs effectively to separate points.
Supporting Main Points
Main points should be clearly supported with specific examples and well-developed ideas. It's necessary to expand on your points and clearly relate them to the topic with relevant examples and explanations.
Task Response
While you presented an answer to the topic, it was done so in a way that fails to fully develop a clear argument. Work on providing comprehensive responses with developed ideas and directly answer all parts of the task.
Ideas Clarity and Expression
Your essay lacks clarity and the expression of ideas is hard to follow. Strive to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary can help achieve this.
Relevant Examples
Your essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support your points. It is vital to provide concrete examples that are directly related to the topic to improve the depth of your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • conservation
  • habitat
  • endangered species
  • captive breeding
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • animal welfare
  • educational outreach
  • natural environment
  • ethical dilemma
  • ecotourism
  • species preservation
  • behavioral enrichment
What to do next:
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