Some people believe that to give opportunuties to the new generation, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #opportunuties #generation #companies #level #employees

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todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

era, everyone is busy

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

making their life easier, it includes all age groups. Mostly senior citizens and youngsters both are working in various companies so I feel that those employees

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

retirement

Use synonyms

now who are older enough to enjoy their life without any worries. I am going to explain my views in the following paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

people

Use synonyms

who are older

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

than

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55 or 60 years

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

need to get

retiement

Correct your spelling

retirement

because it can open up

then

Linking Words

new opportunities for youngsters they can work on their positions

as well as

Linking Words

it is

also

Linking Words

going to

beneficial

Add a missing verb

be beneficial

show examples

for companies because there are

chances

Use synonyms

that they can get more profit. Every generation is more intelligent as compared to

their

Change the word

the

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last

Linking Words

one, so

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are

chances

Use synonyms

that they can use their new ideas in that company.

Moreover

Linking Words

, older

people

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

get some rest and after

Use synonyms

retirement

Add a comma

retirement,

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they can go somewhere to enjoy

their

Change the word

the

show examples

rest of

life's

Change the noun form

lives

life

show examples

. There are

chances

Use synonyms

that they can get mental and physical rest through their vacations.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

Ajit

Correct article usage

an Ajit

show examples

newspaper report in 2005

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

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working

people

Use synonyms

are not spending enough time with their families so after

Use synonyms

retirement

Add a comma

retirement,

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they have

chances

Use synonyms

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

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time with families or they can

also

Linking Words

learn their favourite skills.

To conclude

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

need

retirement

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

specific

Correct article usage

a specific

show examples

age because it can give opportunities to other

people

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

it is

also

Linking Words

good for their well-being.

Submitted by rajdeepsidhuk23 on Sat Dec 02 2023

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. To enhance your task achievement score, ensure that you fully develop your ideas by expanding on your arguments and providing more detailed explanations. This will demonstrate a broader range and depth of language.

coherence cohesion

You have a logical progression in your essay, but the transitions between ideas can sometimes seem abrupt. To improve your coherence and cohesion score, work on using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to signal the start of paragraphs, and ensure clear connections between ideas for a smoother flow of information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

238 words

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Some people believe that to give opportunuties to the new generation, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home, and more children will study from home, as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this will be a positive or negative deuelopment?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't.what's your opinion?'

Various fertilizers are used now a days for food production. This is a practice that has more drawbacks than advantages. Do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.