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Band 3.5

Some people think that children’s leisure activities should always be educational. Others think that it puts too much pressure on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #pressure #children
Children's leisure time
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 should always be education or not is a smouldering issue to today's environmental issues and is extremely arguable
due to
 its unquestionable significance.
This
 matter is being agreed
as
Change preposition
upon as
show examples
 well as disagreed by the society
according to
 its own ideologies and views.In my point of view,a student should not be forced to study all the time. There must be some fun hobby. one group of people strongly favours
this
 because of various logical reasons.
Firstly
 they believe that someone in early life is in the learning stage. So children should be focused on educational
activities
.so that
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can learn and explore new things. In Contrarily, the Second school of thought has its own visions regarding
this
 matter. They believe that a child must be given free time for fun
activities
 or for sports. these
activities
 help them in a lot of ways.
For instance
, any kind of sports task makes children strong and physically fit.
In Addition
, They
also
 think that it will brain drain them and will pressurize them. In Conclusion, As far as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am concerned a child must be given a space to choose their interested
activities
 or hobbies. They will not be forced by anyone to do always educational tasks. It will stop them from thinking or analysis about new things .
Submitted by usmansarfraz700 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the structure of the essay. The conclusion should summarise the main points and reiterate your position.
logical structure
Focus on developing a clear logical structure that guides the reader through your argument. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.
supported main points
Expand on main points with supporting details and specific examples to strengthen the argument and provide greater insight into your position.
complete response
Make sure to address all parts of the task, expressing a clear position throughout, and fully extending and supporting your ideas.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim to express your ideas clearly and with greater depth. Clarify your position and views with detailed explanations and comprehensive coverage of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant, specific examples to back up claims and show a deeper understanding of the topic. This makes your argument more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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