IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today's rapidly evolving world, entering
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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university
Use synonyms
 is crucial. It is argued that,
while
Linking Words
 many individuals go to higher educational
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
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 for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is
Use synonyms
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of qualified
workers
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as electricians and
plumbers
Use synonyms
. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and believe that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
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 are far greater. It is clear
thar
Correct your spelling
that
 every student
enrolling
Wrong verb form
enrols
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to
Change preposition
at
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university
Use synonyms
 to gain knowledge and maybe in some way freedom. In our technological
age
Add a comma
age,
show examples
 the degree is a vital factor for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employment and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
status. Research has shown that there is every second student
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 to
university
Use synonyms
. A good example of
this
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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can be
Wrong verb form
is
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 the rural high schools, where almost every
graduated
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graduate
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decide
Change the verb form
decides
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 to go to
university
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the past time was a
lack
Use synonyms
 of qualified individuals. In the universities, the main mission of people should be
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
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 their
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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time
to
Change preposition
for
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 education and extracurricular activities. I think, doing vocational training needs a
much
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
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 time.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there is a
lack
Use synonyms
 of qualified
workers
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as electricians and
plumbers
Use synonyms
, no one appreciates these jobs. A good example can be my school where students do not value their hard work and just neglect them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,there is a
lack
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 of
such
Linking Words
workers
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. Society
is highly needs
Change the verb form
highly needs
show examples
 more service employees because these jobs will be forever relevant.
For instance
Linking Words
,
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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electricians are responsible for providing electricity
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 buildings and these constructions,
in
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on
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own, always
suround
Correct your spelling
surround
 us in our daily lives. The next example,
Use synonyms
plumbers
Add a missing verb
is plumbers
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 deeply connected with our routine lives and
overall
Linking Words
 household repairs. Research has shown that in the US a big shortage of
plumbers
Use synonyms
,
consequently
Linking Words
, many people have faced challenges with maintenance. In conclusion, the shortage of
quilified
Correct your spelling
qualified
workers
Use synonyms
 highly
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
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on
Change preposition
apply
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our lives, but including vocational training
to
Change preposition
in
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 the universities is not a decision. I believe that students should not be encouraged to do
such
Linking Words
 jobs in the
university
Use synonyms
 field, so the best response can be opening special courses for
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
the overall
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 population, which will be promoted by
government
Add an article
the government
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.

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates some organization of ideas, but there are clear improvements needed in paragraphing and overall essay structure. Consider using more clear and purposeful paragraph breaks to separate distinct ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a concise and clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and the writer's stance clearly, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without presenting new ideas.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to support main points with examples, but they are not always clear or fully elaborated. Work on providing specific, relevant examples that directly support the main ideas presented in each paragraph.
task achievement
The response to the task prompt is incomplete, missing a balanced argument. Ensure to address the question directly, stating your position and providing a balanced discussion including arguments for both sides of the issue.
task achievement
While some ideas are presented, they lack clarity and comprehensiveness. Work on developing each point clearly, explaining how it supports the overall argument of the essay.
task achievement
Some examples provided are too vague or lack detail. Aim to include specific, relevant examples that are well-developed and enhance the argument. Avoid general statements that do not add value to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
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