option A : constructing gym Option B: constructing bicycles lane

#option #gym #b #bicycles #lane

While

building bicycle lanes on the streets has its benefits,I strongly opine that allocating funds to the gym will be an

apropos

Correct word choice

appropriate

show examples

solution

due to

the following reasons. Conspicuously ,from recent report many individuals in our city are physically weak ,

due to

lack of physical activities .Only

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

wealthy citizens in our area are commuting to

near by

Correct your spelling

nearby

show examples

cities to access the superior wellness centres to maintain fitness ,Renovating the current gym will

proivde

Correct your spelling

provide

access to all

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of people and it not only improves

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical fitness it

also

contibutes

Correct your spelling

contributes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mentall

Correct your spelling

mental

well- being

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

Intrestingly

Correct your spelling

Interestingly

,the wellness centre in the city has

vast

Correct article usage

a vast

show examples

place

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

can easily accommodate the swimming pool

as well as

massage

Correct article usage

the massage

show examples

centre.

Due to

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

show examples

pool

Correct article usage

a pool

show examples

in our city ,children

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

have enough skills

Change preposition

apply

show examples

swimming to compete in the competitions held by

federal

Correct article usage

the federal

show examples

governament

Correct your spelling

government

.Having a pool will be a door opening for the youth to enhance their skills.

Additionally

,spas will be a great benefit to relax for both

Correct article usage

the olderly

show examples

olderly

Correct your spelling

elderly

older

and individuals

workinmg

Correct your spelling

working

from home. Based on the

affermentioned

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

reasoning, I stand by my stance .

That is

constrcuting

Correct your spelling

constructing

a bike lane

wouldnot

Correct your spelling

would not

wouldn't

be a good option considering

Correct your spelling

extremely

extremly

Correct your spelling

extremely

extreme

freezing weather

Submitted by vicky.kallem on Sat Dec 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction should more clearly present the topic and your stance, including a clearer outline of the arguments you will present within the body of the essay. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are aligned and reinforce each other effectively.

logical structure

Work on developing a more logical structure. Your essay should clearly guide the reader through your points, with each paragraph having a clear main idea and a purpose that connects back to the overall argument.

supported main points

Provide more developed support for your main points. Use examples, statistics, expert opinions, or other evidence to make your arguments more persuasive and to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

complete response

Be sure to address all parts of the task. Your essay does not completely respond to the prompt, as it only focuses on one option and does not adequately compare it to the alternative or address possible counterarguments.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and expand your ideas to present a more comprehensive argument. Aim for depth in exploring the implications, consequences, and nuances of your stance. Consider addressing potential counterarguments and providing rebuttals.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate relevant and specific examples to solidify your arguments. The examples you provided could be more detailed and directly related to the prompt, showing how the gym and pool could directly impact the skills and opportunities of the local population.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

195 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Why do you think self discipline is better than motivation?
It is often claimed that self discipline is better than motivation in achieving goals. I completely agree with this, and tend to think that motivation is not a persistent resource to continue doing something regularly, while discipline allows not to stop even without motivation.
6
band
An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?
These days, technology has been developing really soon, but we do not know how we must use it with less damage; as a result, we can see children all over the world who have less activity time, but spend a lot of time on TV. For example, a British child watches television approximately 20 hours a week and indulges in 7 hours of physical activity. In this essay, we will discuss the main problems associated with this epidemic and propose some possible solutions to avoid them.
5
band
The plans show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
Grange Park was opened in 1920, a rectangular area with access from Arnold Avenue on the north side and from Eldon Street on the south side. There was a fountain in the centre, with a stage for musicians situated centre left, a glasshouse to the right of the Eldon Street entrance and a pond for water plants in the north east corner opposite. Around the edges of the park there were rose gardens, with seats nearby for people to smell the flowers and listen to music.
5
band
A number of People are moving from rural areas to cities. Is it a positive or a negative development?
At present time, some people from rural areas are immigrating to cities. I strongly believe this situation invite positive changes such as it can raise the development of human resources. However, it also can bring downside namely uneven distribution of population.
5
band
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said that the Internet's creation in the nineteenth made easier the way in which people could learn, work and study. The use of computers and mobile phones was seen at first as a democratization of knowledge, culture, and books. However, I think that this primary ideology was totally wrong following the side effects and trajectory and use of these devices. Indeed. I do think that computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative effect on people's reading and writing skills, especially for young people.

option A : constructing gym Option B: constructing bicycles lane

Fully explain your ideas

Why do you think self discipline is better than motivation?

An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?

The plans show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

A number of People are moving from rural areas to cities. Is it a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?