option A : constructing gym Option B: constructing bicycles lane

While
building bicycle lanes on the streets has its benefits,I strongly opine that allocating funds to the gym will be an
apropos
Correct word choice
appropriate
show examples
solution
due to
the following reasons. Conspicuously ,from recent report many individuals in our city are physically weak ,
due to
lack of physical activities .Only
few
Change the article
a few
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wealthy citizens in our area are commuting to
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
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cities to access the superior wellness centres to maintain fitness ,Renovating the current gym will
proivde
Correct your spelling
provide
access to all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of people and it not only improves
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical fitness it
also
contibutes
Correct your spelling
contributes
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mentall
Correct your spelling
mental
well- being
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well-being
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.
Intrestingly
Correct your spelling
Interestingly
,the wellness centre in the city has
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
show examples
place
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
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can easily accommodate the swimming pool
as well as
massage
Correct article usage
the massage
show examples
centre.
Due to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
pool
Correct article usage
a pool
show examples
in our city ,children
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have enough skills
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
swimming to compete in the competitions held by
federal
Correct article usage
the federal
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governament
Correct your spelling
government
.Having a pool will be a door opening for the youth to enhance their skills.
Additionally
,spas will be a great benefit to relax for both
Correct article usage
the olderly
show examples
olderly
Correct your spelling
elderly
older
and individuals
workinmg
Correct your spelling
working
from home. Based on the
affermentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
reasoning, I stand by my stance .
That is
constrcuting
Correct your spelling
constructing
a bike lane
wouldnot
Correct your spelling
would not
wouldn't
be a good option considering
Correct your spelling
extremely
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
extreme
freezing weather
Submitted by vicky.kallem on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction should more clearly present the topic and your stance, including a clearer outline of the arguments you will present within the body of the essay. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are aligned and reinforce each other effectively.
logical structure
Work on developing a more logical structure. Your essay should clearly guide the reader through your points, with each paragraph having a clear main idea and a purpose that connects back to the overall argument.
supported main points
Provide more developed support for your main points. Use examples, statistics, expert opinions, or other evidence to make your arguments more persuasive and to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
complete response
Be sure to address all parts of the task. Your essay does not completely respond to the prompt, as it only focuses on one option and does not adequately compare it to the alternative or address possible counterarguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas to present a more comprehensive argument. Aim for depth in exploring the implications, consequences, and nuances of your stance. Consider addressing potential counterarguments and providing rebuttals.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to solidify your arguments. The examples you provided could be more detailed and directly related to the prompt, showing how the gym and pool could directly impact the skills and opportunities of the local population.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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